Skip to main content

His Loving Presence During Our Godsister's Final Days

The following is a combined version of the previous 5 part series.

With Gurudev’s mercy, I have got inspiration to share this incident about my biological sister and godsister, Ashita Dhamir. She was initiated by Srila Gurudev ( Nityalila Pravishtha Om Visnupad Paramhamsa Shree Shrimad Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Goswami Maharaj Ji) on 31 Aug 2013 at Kolkata math.

She had a direct experience of Srila Gurudev’s mercy when she was admitted to the hospital because of pneumonia in March 2017. The doctors had diagnosed that she had got water clogged into her lungs. This made it difficult for her to breathe. She was put on life-support. The doctors advised us to get an operation, but also told us that the chances of her staying alive were very slim. The success rate of such a surgery was almost none.

My relatives who had gathered at the hospital were not ready to go for the heart operation because of the risk. In the midst of this highly stressful episode, my sister was praying to Srila Gurudev in the ICU room by keeping His picture by her side.

During this tensed hour, my Shikha Guru Radha Govind Prabhuji came to visit my sister in the hospital along with his wife Jahnava Mataji and guided my sister and all of us to take shelter and pray to Srila Gurudev, as our Gurudev is all merciful and only by his blessings we can get mercy of Radha Krishna. We remembered that it is also easier to please Gurudev than to pray to Radha Krishna directly. As per their instructions, my mother prayed for the mercy of Srila Gurudev to save her child from this suffering condition.

While praying to Srila Gurudev and Narsinghdev, my mother had fallen asleep on the bench outside the ICU room and during that sleep, she had a dream of most merciful Srila Gurudev, Who was taking my sister with Him and my mother was piteously crying in the dream for her daughter. Looking at the crying of my mother, Srila Gurudev came back and handed over my sister back to my mother. She came out of the dream and understood that Srila Gurudev is with her and her daughter will be staying back with her.

Simultaneously, my sister also had a mystical dream after she had fallen asleep while keeping Srila Gurudev’s picture close to her heart and praying constantly. In the dream, she saw that she was being operated on by a team of doctors who had already opened her chest and were looking puzzled to find a spot to tap water out that had accumulated in her lungs and around the heart. This was the deciding factor for her if she will take another breath or not.

During this situation (in the dream), our most merciful and magnanimous Srila Gurudev Maharaj ji mysteriously entered the operation theatre and started to guide those doctors by pointing out the exact spot to tap the water out. But the doctors still looked mystified to perform any action. This was the instance when Srila Gurudev took a stance to shower His mercy upon His daughter through his own compassion. He took the needle in His own hands and removed the fluid with His own merciful hands! Hence there flowed the fountain of venom stuck around heart and she opened her eyes in astonishment finding her in the ICU room.

As soon as we entered into the ICU room to inquire about her health, with tears in her eyes she explained the experience of magnanimity and compassion shown to her by His Divine Grace Srila Gurudev in the form of a dream. Hence with the double confirmation from the two magnanimous dreams, my parents agreed and signed the papers for her to be operated by the doctors in the evening. As soon as the clock ticked nearing the sunset time, our heartbeats were increasing praying that this is not only a dream but a reality. Either way, we needed to accept what will happen for our life to come.

At last, it was the time when my sister was taken inside the operation theatre (OT) where the actual operation was to be performed by the doctors. We all were praying for the dreams to come true and hoping to see that my sister would come back smiling from the pangs of death. Then came the time of the revelation of Srila Gurudev’s presence not only in the dream but also in real life.

Doctors again performed the final scan before operating her. Just 5 minutes after she was taken into the OT, the doctors came out in complete astonishment because they became the first witness of Srila Gurudev’s mercy on my sister. They shouted, “It’s a Miracle, It’s a Miracle!” The dreams had come true and doctors couldn’t find a drop of water in either lungs or anywhere near the heart since it was opposite of what they saw when they scanned her in the morning.

However, we understood the exact nature of the miracle—how could have there been any misery or poison left when Srila Gurudev Himself had mercifully removed it with His divine hands?

There came a sigh of relief with tears of joy pouring from the eyes of all the family members and no one was able to stop themselves from singing the glories of Srila Gurudev. Here is one of the living proof that how magnanimous and merciful our Srila Gurudev is!

This was the first part of the story where Srila Gurudev removed the venom which was filled around His daughter’s heart and handed her over in the hands of my mother.

After a few days, she was discharged from hospital and was brought back to home. But on the other hand, it was heart-breaking news on 20th April 2017 when Srila Gurudeva performed the pastime of His physical disappearance from our eyes.

After her recovery, we all had visited Srila Gurudev’s Samadhi in Sridham Mayapur to pay obeisances for taking care of His daughter in such a mystical way.

Although my sister was out of the intense suffering, there was some weakness due to which she was not able to continue her studies of B.ED to become a teacher. She could hardly write much even after the months of her recovery. It was necessary for her to clear the exam to become a teacher.

My mother started to train her to write as much as she could so that she can be prepared for her exams. But to everyone's despair, she could hardly write one side of a page in an hour’s time. We could see that although she had prepared well, she would never be able to complete her exams. But still, she was preparing for it despite that as her faith was there in Srila Gurudev.

The days when she was supposed to go for her examinations arrived in conjunction with fever and nausea. This condition affirmed that she will never be able to write her papers well. Also, evidently when she went to appear for the examinations, she came back with the sadness that she could not write all the exams and she was assured that she will fail.

The day came when the results were declared for her examinations and we had no words to explain the glory of Srila Gurudev’s mercy that she managed to obtain straight 'A’s in all her examinations which got her a job of a teacher in a school. It was not difficult to understand such a mysterious act which happened in the life of my sister was only due to Srila Gurudev’s causeless mercy. And we all became witness to it.

After this, things became more astonishing for us when we saw that my sister, who had always been a quiet person,  had become much more reserved. She would not really participate in any material happenings around her.

Something had changed after she came back from the hospital which was becoming evident day-by-day with her conduct and talks. Although she got the job of a teacher and gained her health back, her interests had changed a lot. She had become very detached from everything.

Again came the days of despair for us after one year, she had fallen sick again and diagnosed with pneumonia relapse. She had some breathing difficulty but this time it was not so severe. With the consultation of doctors, she was taking rest at home with some prescribed medicines. But after a few more days, her condition deteriorated and she was admitted to the hospital where doctors found that her heart had become very weak.

Doctors wanted to operate on her heart this time to which my parents disagreed and brought her back home depending only on Srila Gurudev’s mercy. Doctors had prescribed an option to give her steroid injections to save her from further deterioration.Alas, it was only a matter of time before she was again in the agony of pain.We saw was her fighting spirit demonstrated by the fact that she was not complaining about anything.

Somehow she was assured that it was her final days and she will not live long. She used to keep herself busy with remembering about Gurudev and chanting Harinaam.

When I saw her deteriorating condition and pain I asked her to cry in front of our Srila Gurudev to take these pains away from her. She followed my words and one day she closed the doors of the room where we had our  Thakurji, Radha Shyamsundar ji on the altar with Srila Gurudev and Guru parampara are present. There she cried for hours begging for mercy.

Adding to our astonishment, her pain and miserable condition surprisingly started to improve, but again something had changed when she expressed in different ways to my mother that it was her final days. Mother thought that it was due to her illness that she was expressing such ideas. She was fond of listening to the kirtans and Ashtaks which we use to read for her.

One day she told our mother, “Mother, I am fully satisfied with my life and there is nothing more I need to hanker.” This was very natural and a bold statement from a 23 years young girl who had not even started her life. But the actual revelation of her expression was yet to unfold after a  few days— something which our family could never have imagined...

On May 24, 2018, one of my sister's close friends called her and she asked the friend to visit her the same day as she wanted to discuss a lot of things with her. But her friend expressed that she will not be able to make it the same day and would come to see her the next day to which she replied then it would never be possible to meet her. With such an answer, the friend asked her for the reason for such a reply to which she never replied anything.

On that same evening, my mother bought a lot of things for my sister which she liked to eat. Upon knowing that my mother had bought all those things for her to eat, she replied, “How many things can I eat in one night? We were unaware of the meaning of her words and my mother replied to her that she is not supposed to eat everything in one single night.

At that same day around 1am, she asked my mother to give some her some Gopi Chandan and water so that she can prepare some Tilak for next few days. After preparing Gopi Chandan, my mother loudly recited some bhajans from Bhajan Giti. My sister explained the meaning of the kirtans saying that in every line, the kirtan is to make us aware that we have to prepare for our death and go back home back to Krishna. It was such a profound statement which was only realized by her.

Kamada Ekadasi was on the 25th day of May 2018 in the month of Purushottam. My sister woke up early in the morning near 5 O’clock with some breathing difficulty and some uneasiness in her heart, but she was calm and serene in her posture. The first thing she asked for that day was Bhandirvan jal, which she took daily, but mostly during afternoon time— but today she asked for it at around 5:30 am in the morning. After having Bhandirvan jal, she chanted a couple of rounds on her Japa Mala and she asked my mother if she can recite Ramayana, but my mom suggested to her that she should have some sleep. After she woke, she expressed that “I can see that Srila Gurudev has come.”

We were not sure what she was talking about, but there was something different in her that day. After some time, she went to the washroom and when she came out she had an expression on her face that she could visualize something. Then she shouted at the top of her voice “Jai Gurudev!" and turned towards the deities and shouted “Jai Radha Shyamsundar ji”, after which she dropped like a sack on the shoulders of my mother, saying, “mujhe kandha do ma” which means “give me your shoulder, mother.”

After that, she calmly said with a smile on her face, “Jati hoon." Such words are not accepted in our community and are considered as bad omen as they are an expression of someone’s passing away from this world. Hence my mother scolded her to not to use such words ever. But those were the last words spoken by her daughter.

Although we couldn’t accept it easily, it was assured with the last expressions of my sister that she is with her spiritual father who had appeared for His darling daughter to take her back with Him to the world which is yet unknown to most of us here.

We, as a family, pay innumerable humble obeisance at the lotus feet of Srila Gurudev for taking care of His darling daughter in a most mysterious and amazing way and at the same time showing this to the whole world that He is present for all His disciples at every stage of their lives and lives to come.

—Tribhang Murari Das (Taresh Dhamir)

Ashita Dhamir


Popular posts from this blog

He Begged Door to Door When His Godbrother Became Ill

It was after 35 years after his [Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaj] Guru Maharaj [Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur] gave the instruction to preach abroad that he was able to do so. He was a householder and he had a business, but it was not too successful.

Once he got tuberculosis. At that time tuberculosis meant the family will reject you. The medicine was too expensive, each day 120 rupees; at that time in 1950s, that was near 12,000 rupees daily. Due to the fact that it was an infectious and contagious disease, his family rejected him. This is not in our written history, only spoken.

That time Srila Bhakti Dayita Madhav Goswami Maharaja said, for the service of my godbrother, I will beg door to door, and he brought him to his temple. At that time, Madhav Maharaj had a temple in a rented house in Rasbihari, Kolkata. It is not the building where the temple is now, but five blocks from there.

Madhava Maharaj kept him there for 6 months and every day gave 120 rupees for his me…

Remembering His Entrance Into Nitya Lila

Srila Gurudev was always intoxicated in Krishna-nama-sankirtan, whether or not externally conscious. He was lying on the bed and was seemingly unaware as he was not communicating with any one of us externally, but inwardly he was relishing Krishna-namasankirtan offered by the devotees and also inspired devotees from within to come and join sankirtan movement.

Those who performed the sankirtans those last days on earth are the true servants of Srila Gurudev. Even though the sevaks were attending to the immediate medical services of Srila Gurudev, one would think that the best service was done by those who performed kirtans. Of this, there is no doubt. 
Srila Gurudev could have concluded his pastimes much before but he chose this way to make us realize that the process of Krishna-nama-sankirtan is the only way by which everyone could stay united for a single purpose. Srila Prabhupad Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Goswami Thakur had mentioned in his antim-vani (final instructions) to offer …

No Fear When Following in the Steps of His Gurudeva

Most Revered Srila Gurudev, by His causeless mercy, encouraged me and my wife Bosudha Dasi to travel with Him to different places in India on his preaching tour at the end of 2010 and beginning of 2011. After touring North India and Assam we came to Kolkata in Dec. 2010. 

In the beginning of January 2011 there was an ongoing discussion among Srila Gurudeva's sevak team whether Srila Gurudev would be going to Chakdaha Jagannath temple for the annual festival or not as it was very cold there at that time. I was also afraid to go because I had just recovered from  illness.
One day, after Srila Gurudev's Tulsi parikrama, He was going towards His bhajan kutir and looking at my wife He asked her: "We will go to Chakdaha?" My wife responded that it depends on You (Gurudev). 
Gurudev smiled and then pointing at me He said: "Everything depends on him (me). We will go?" 

I replied that I heard it is cold but that it depends on You (Gurudev). 
Then Gurudev smiled and said:…