Praṇamāmi Guru Tīrtha Padaṁ

Every year, Śrīla Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja would go to Puri during Śrī Jagannātha ratha-yatra along with many devotees. Once I was also present when he arrived and we went to welcome him. But one of his younger sannyāsī godbrothers did not go to welcome him Mahārāja noticed his godbrother's absence and personally went to see him, offered him obeisances, and inquired about his well-being. This incident shows Mahārāja's humility. Mahāprabhu says,  tṛṇād api sunīcena taror api sahiṣṇunā amāninā mānadena kīrtanīyaḥ sadā hariḥ .   And these qualities are present in Mahārāja. Only such persons are eligible for kṛṣṇa-kirtana . 
—Tridaṇḍī Svāmī Śrīmad Bhakti Saudha Jitendriya Mahārāja

Once In Gokul, quite a few maṭhavasis and others left. My job was to do the cooking in the morning and later clean the pots and pans. After maṅgala arāti one day, I saw there was a statue of Ambedkar in front of our temple. He had formed the constitution of India and had come from a lower caste and people of those castes considered him godly and almost worshiped him. They installed the statue of Ambedkar pointing his finger in the direction of the temple. They encroached on the maṭha property when they did this.  Politicians would play their politics and later blame it on somebody else, but they also instigated them. They had planned to disfigure the deities of our temple. They had a meeting in Matura and then another in Gokul. One day when I finished the sevā of washing vessels, I went to take bath. Sādhu Mahārāja and two brahmacārīs were doing kirtan and we found a crowd outside the temple making noise.  I woke up Rādhāpriya Prabhu (Bhakti Svarūpa  Akiñcana M...

My śikṣā-guru , founder of Sree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭh, Nityalīlā Praviṣṭa Om Bhakti Dayita Mādhava Gosvāmī Mahārāj is glorious. The jewel of his eyes and his necklace (garland) around His neck are all non-different from Him. The great personality whose disappearance we honor in this excellent ceremony today, my śikṣā-guru , Tridaṇḍī Svāmī Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāj remains ever victorious.  Once we had gone along with Mahārāj on a preaching tour to Haldia. Śrīla Trivikram Mahārāj, Ācārya Mahārāj, Yati Mahārāj and Tridaṇḍī Mahārāj had accompanied him. That program was organized by local devotees who were very poor. We stayed in a two-story, mud house. The stairs were difficult to climb, but Mahārāj was quite happy living there.  When we were having prasād , we criticized it, saying  “This is not good, that is not good..." At that time, Mahārāj came down and chastised us. “This is a poor person’s house. They have organized this program by begging. You are getti...

Mahābhāgavats come to encourage us and show us the path that is our only goal. We belonged here from before a time we can remember. Guru Mahārāj joined the Mission in 1947 and up to the time our maṭh was established by Śrīla Param Gurudeva, Guru Mahārāj was staying at Caitanya Maṭh with Param Gurudeva. Guru Mahārāj said we are also originally belonging to Caitanya Maṭh. Our saṅkīrtana party used to sit and take prasād in the open under so many trees. From there we used to go to Śrīvas Angan and then Kazi Samādhi.  Guru Mahārāj was worried about when it was going to become dark as many people could be lost along the way. I remember from Kazi Samādhi that everyone was tired. After prostrating, many were feeling like catching a rickshaw since we had been going on foot the whole day. Then I remember Guru Mahārāj getting up with his tridaṇḍa in hand. He started singing, "Haribol, bolo bhai" and he started running to the maṭh using the fastest stretch from Kazi Samādhi to our ...

During the annual Navadvip dhāma-parikramā festival in 2012, many devotees from different corners of the globe came to Māyāpur to take part. It was apparently impossible for Śrīla Gurudev, who was approaching 90 years old to physically participate in the daily circumambulation. However, he showed an enthusiasm unknown to anyone of his age by leading kīrtana in the early hours on the opening day of the parikramā . He also spoke about the glories of the holy dhāma to all the pilgrims. Every day he would come out of his bhajana-kuṭīra to see off the devotees going on parikramā and to welcome the devotees when they returned late in the evening. One day when all the devotees left for circumambulation leaving behind only a few servants and Śrīla Gurudev in the Maṭha, a few devotees from China had come to visit Śrīla Gurudev. They sat in front of Śrīla Gurudev’s  bhajan kuṭīra and started to sing Mahāmantra in a loud voice. For a long time, Śrīla Gurudev was sitting inside his...

Once I went to Dhanbad along with Mahārāj for preaching. There was a person there named Yasamanta who used to donate coal to the maṭha thrice a year. They invited Guru Mahārāj to stay in their house; it was a good accommodation with air-conditioned rooms. But that particular year, we went to live in the house of a householder devotee in Herapuri who was a disciple of Param  Pūjyapāda  Om  Viṣṇupada  Śrīmad Bhakti Vilas Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāj. Narasiṃha Mahārāj, Deva Prasād Prabhu, and  Viṣṇudaivata  Mahārāj (who was a brahmacārī at that time) were also present. There was hari-kathā and kīrtan in the house of Yasamanta, and Mahārāj would go there. I was cooking and washing clothes for Tirtha Mahārāj. Narasingha Mahārāj, who was Achintya Govinda  brahmacārī  then, gave advice to Tirtha Mahārāj. “Mahārāj, please clean your clothes. You are going to the house of a distinguished person.” Mahārāj replied, “They are already clean.” Achintya ...

My mother took Harinām from Gurudev. She fell ill during the last two or three years of her stay in this world. She was always speaking to Guru Mahārāj in her heart. Even though she was not in a position to do anything, whatever she had to do – go to the bathroom, eat, or whatever – she would only say, "Gurujī, Gurujī, Gurujī, Gurujī..." My mother-in-law also often told me, "Guru Mahārāj will do so much good for me." Once, I heard that Guru Mahārāj came to New Delhi, so my wife and I went to the maṭh. I got a garland from him, took it back to my house, and put it on my mother-in-law. She immediately left the body. The next day, we took her to the crematorium, and Gurujī, with his own hands, sent a tulasī for her. She always wanted to serve Guru Mahārāj with a nice quilt, etc. Guru Mahārāj was pleased with her that she always wanted to do service, so Guru Mahārāj also assisted her in her last stages of life. She told Guru Mahārāj one time " I don't re...

Sometime around 2005 when I was in Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya Mission Mandir in Vienna, Austria, Śrīmad Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāj phoned me with the help of his sevāk and was asking, "Where are you? Why have you not come to meet me?" I was abroad and Mahārāj was thinking I was in Kolkata.  He called to speak to me from Kolkata and my heart melted thinking when I'm abroad I never get calls from anyone from India. Mahārāj personally called me and said, "Nothing in particular, just called to speak to you." My heart was filled with emotions and my eyes were filled with tears thinking that there are people in this world who still love me.  In 2001 when the World Trade Center disaster occurred I was in San Jose, Costa Rica. Tamal Prabhu sent me an e-mail saying Mahārāj wants to speak to you, where are you? Then I called Mahārāj over the phone and he said, "You come back immediately. It is a very difficult situation." I thought that if a world war occurs...

In Nandagoan, Śrī Vidyāsāgar, a devotee from Hoshiyarpur and also Gurujī’s god-brother, suddenly fell ill.  He was not even able to get up, so some devotees from Bhatinda and Jalandhar served him very much, yet his health deteriorated more and more.  Gurujī started worrying about him very much.  He even went several times to see him.   When Cidānanda Prabhu returned from Varṣāṇā after completing some service in the evening, Gurujī called him to his room and told him that Vidyāsāgar should be taken to a good doctor at Kosi for immediate treatment.  The place was such that it was difficult to get a taxi at night.  Somehow Cidānanda Prabhu got one Maruti. Many devotees gathered around the van. Some devotees carried Vidyāsāgar into the van and laid him down.  Some necessary things like a water bottle, glass, a woolen blanket, and some clothes were taken along.  Cidānanda Prabhu, Śrī Rajesh of Jalandhar, and Śrī Amarnath Sharma’s son, Śrī Manoj of Bha...

I remember the Vraja-maṇḍala parikramā  that was performed in 1987. During the last days of the parikramā in Sree Chaitanya Gaudiya Math, Gokul-Mahavan, our Most Revered Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, His Divine Grace Śrīla Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Mahārāja, raised a question to himself in order to instruct us: “As we increase our endeavor for devotion, our attachment to this world increases rather than our attachment to the Supreme Lord. Why is this so?”   While Śrīla Guru Mahārāja was delivering a transcendental discourse from his lotus mouth, I recorded the divine and sublime words of Guru Mahārāja. To purify my heart and to please the devotees who have affection for Śrī Guru, I am making a small attempt to present the same transcendental words as they are: "Here I have done my self-examination. So many days have been spent doing parikramā , following vaiṣṇavas, and chanting the Lord’s name loudly. You might be thinking that I am doing a lot of kīrtana, and dancing. But what is the ...

In Bhatinda  maṭha  during  Kārtik  in 2004, one devotee was engaged to remove flies from Śrīla Gurudeva's transcendental body with a small fan during the first yam session. The devotee didn't come one day, so I was requested to do this service. When I sat next to Śrīla Gurudeva on the stage, I saw how He was completely sincere while performing His devotional practice as a practitioner, as a disciple of His Gurudev; not having any kind of false pride of being "Guru, sitting above of so many disciples"— not in the least. While I was trying to keep flies away with the fan, two of them came on different parts of Śrīla Gurudeva's shining transcendental body at the same time. With a bit of dissatisfaction with them and with a desire to remove them both at the same time, I used a little bit more force to remove them, perhaps even with harshness or hostility. Śrīla Gurudev noticed it and looked at me with a bit of dissatisfaction. Almost imm...

I understand that Guru Mahārāj started to write the Kārtik Handbook in 2002 out of compassion for foreign devotees who were coming to observe Kārtik-vratā as they had no guide to understand what was being spoken. For the benefit of all those devotees who could not understand Bengali or Hindi, Guru Mahārāj took a very special effort to translate specially selected portions from Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākur's Bhajan Rahasya . During the time when he was compiling the Kārtik Handbook, Guru Mahārāj's extreme amount of care and affection was astounding. As I was listening to these pastimes being recounted, I could feel what genuine compassion Guru Mahārāj had for all those persons requiring translation. Day in and day out, he was contemplating the very best words to use. While eating, sleeping, and taking bath, while doing any activity—he was only concentrating on that service. I had the experience of sometimes feeling the need to interrupt Guru  Mahārāj's  service in order to ...

Once during the month of Kārtik, we were at Śyāma-kuṇḍa of Sree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha in Māyāpur sitting at the lotus feet of most dear Śrīla Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāj. All devotees were in ānanda by taking the darśan of his sweet and smiling lotus face and by receiving his merciful glances. While kirtan was going on, I was sitting just next to his lotus feet. Then I start to pray to him internally, looking at him: 
Guru Mahārāj, what will I do? I see that Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura made this Gauḍīya Maṭhas only to give shelter to male devotees. They can live in the maṭha peacefully engaged in their sevā and bhajan . They don’t need to worry anymore about their own maintenance since the maṭha will provide them with anything they need. In this way, they have your shelter, but what about someone like me, a woman devotee? There is no shelter for me in the Gauḍīya Maṭha. I also want to just engage my life in hari-bhajan and service to vaiṣṇavas . 
In this wa...

Śrīla Guru Mahārāj is very affectionate to his disciples. The reason he travels from one place to another speaking hari-kathā throughout the year is the causeless mercy and compassion he has towards all living entities for their eternal welfare. He will never let any hindrance come in the way of such activities, even when his health is not so good.   All his glorious activities, including his hari-kathā and articles in different languages such as English, Hindi, and Bangla are proof of his desire for the eternal welfare of all souls.  My understanding is that this desire for the eternal welfare of all souls does not stop him from his tours in Punjab in the severe summer or Simla in the cold winter. In this regard, I see his affection for all souls is many times more than that of a mother to her child. Those coming in contact with Śrīla Mahārāj individually experience personal attention and special regard towards them whether they go for darśana alone or with family and frie...

Around 2012 when Kārtik month was being celebrated in Mayapur, I was attending the festival with my whole family by the mercy of Gurudev. My son Krishna’s tithi birthday was there on the appearance day of Śrila Bhakti Śrīrūpā Siddhāntī Mahārāj. The day before his birthday, I asked one of the sevāks of Gurudev whether he could get darśan of Gurudev on his birthday and they agreed. That same evening when I was sitting with my kids in the temple hall and listening to hari-kathā , one stranger came and sat with my son. That man had some toys and he was talking with my son. I did not know him and felt that he was not really staying in the maṭh for any good reason. When we were moving for  prasādam , I asked my son, "Why were you talking with that man?" He replied to me, "Mother, that man was telling me to take these toys into your room and bring all the money from your bags. He told me, I will give you some more toys and if you will not bring anything, then tomorrow I will ...

In 1995 there was an event in New Model, Ludhiana in Śrī Sanātan Dharma Mandir. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s saṅkīrtan Mandal was observing their eighth Śrī Harinām Saṅkīrtan Congregation there. One day when I was standing outside the temple, one car came and stopped near me. Śrī Satish Jain, who was the son of Ray Jain (Chief Trustee of Śrī Kṛṣṇa Mandir, Shastrinagar, Ludhiana,) got down from that car. Being acquainted with each other for a long time, we met each other affectionately and together we proceeded to Śrīla Guru Mahārāj’s room for his darśan and found him sitting alone there. Śrī Satish placed some fruits and other items before Guru Mahārāj and offering daṇḍavat praṇāms, he prayerfully spoke, "Mahārāj, kindly grace me." "What grace you desire? Is there any need for money?" Guru Mahārāj asked. "No, Mahārāj. Your bountiful grace is there," Satish replied. "What else do you want?" Gurujī asked. "Let my Hari Bhajan go on well; this is ...

Guru Maharaj made everything so easy. Everything was beginning from the heart; it was all about the heart. Within the first two years during almost every darshan that I had of Guru Maharaj, He said the same thing to me: "It's so easy to please Krishna. It is so easy. Why? Because He is the nearest and dearest. Nobody is nearer to us than Krishna." My background made me so complicated but Guru Maharaj made it so easy. With so much love he would say to me: "It's so easy to please Krishna." So I was thinking even when I feel very close to someone, that is nothing compared to how close the Lord is. Naturally, it's easy. If you try to please the Lord from the heart, he is pleased. It's so easy. He kept telling me this again and again, probably because I have a complicated mind. Many times I heard Srila Gurumaharaj say, "The panacea for all problems is sharanagati. If we surrender, things will fall into place."  That was the impression I got from...

Guru Maharaj flew from Delhi to London. I joined them in London airport and waited along with them to catch a flight to New York. I was seated next to Guru Maharaj on the plane and I noticed with interest that he was reading the book "Perfect Questions Perfect Answers" by Srila Swami Maharaj, a very well-known book for beginners in Krishna consciousness. I saw Guru Maharaj reading that book with a lot of concentration. I wondered why he was reading that book because he knows everything. Even though I didn’t ask him, I found the answer myself: because he has perfect attitude of following Guruvarga, he wanted to follow the scripture of Srila Swami Maharaj as he was an authorized disciple and had been given the order by Srila Prabhupada to go and preach outside. Guru Maharaj was very cautious to never go beyond what Swami Maharaj had given. His attitude was never like he knows more or can give more in the West than what Swami Maharaj had. So he was reading the book to see what...

Once in our Kolkata Math, a bramhachari did not behave respectfully towards a householder devotee during a festival program, and Srila Tirtha Goswami Maharaj was not pleased with that.  He said: Household devotees come to math for a few days leaving aside all their material duties. They come to associate with the sadhus. It is not appropriate to be disrespectful towards them. If we have an ego that I am a brahmachari, I am a sanyasi, and they are grihastas, then we will not get the grace of the Supreme Lord.  We should give up all types of false ego. Mahaprabhu has instructed: yei bhaje sei bada, abhakta—hina, chara krishna-bhajane nahi jati-kuladi-vicar Anyone who takes to devotional service is exalted, whereas a non-devotee is always condemned and abominable. Therefore in the discharge of devotional service to the Lord, there is no consideration of the status of one’s family.  (Chaitanya Charitamrita Antya-lila 4.67) Whoever performs bhajan is exalted; there is n...

Once during Mayapur parikram after the day we go to Vidyānāgar, I was very tired. I was leaning against a pillar and I started sleeping. Then Gurudev came and gave a whole lecture. One thing I have observed that Gurudev had so much endurance and energy. Even after being up so late, he never neglected to attend mangal arati. Even in his own room, he wouldn’t rest because devotees would keep coming to his room. We have never seen Gurudev being sleepy or drowsy. He has such a taste for Harikatha. I’ve never even seen him yawn. Once in Ramdas' house, a sannyasi spoke for two hours. Gurudev was always silently listening. Even though the other sanyassi spoke so long, Gurudev was also not short, he gave a long katha after that. There was another program where all the speakers were giving 15 minutes lecture. Gurudev said, in 15 minutes I can only give vandana! He took 15 minutes to give vandana, and his katha after that was so good that nobody stopped him. Once we went to Ramakris...