Praṇamāmi Guru Tīrtha Padaṁ

When I was a young boy at the age of thirteen or fourteen, I used to have a dream. In India I was given astrological advice by a Paṇḍitjī that explained that I must go to a Śiva temple every day in the morning to offer water to the Śiva-liṅga. I used to dream that somebody took me to the top of a hill and I screamed while they pushed me off but somebody was underneath and he caught me. That dream had been continuing for a long time. When I came to England, I told my wife that we have to build one Śiva temple somewhere and she agreed. But it never happened until I met Guru Mahārāja in Delhi. One day he suggested that we go with him to Assam. At Guru Mahārāja’s appearance place in Goalpara, the janmasthāna temple was still being built. We met Mr. Lumba there and he explained that one of the devotees from Jammu is putting a lot of money into building a temple and he would like to ask somebody else to donate for that.  He asked me to come with him so he could show me where the temple ...

During the years that my spiritual master Śrīla Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja was the president of the World Vaiṣṇava Association (1999-2017), he often emphasized harmonious cooperation among all vaiṣṇavas from all different saṅgas . I cannot imagine how pleased he must be that this meeting was organized.  I know it is Guru Mahārāja's arrangement to give me some time to glorify him, just to encourage me, to keep me connected, and to remind me of his glories. Over the last two days as I prepared for this, I probably thought much more about the pastimes than before. I will repeat or relate some of the teachings I received from Gurudev and some of the memories that I have just for my own purification. It is more like a child trying to learn how to talk and to walk when I speak and I hope Śrīla Gurudeva is pleased. During my recollection over the past few days, what really touched me or impressed me about Guru Mahārāja was how effulgent and radiant he was. I was often thinki...

I would like to remember a few direct and personal teachings of Gurudeva to me. The first time I was in Jagannātha Purī temple the pāṇḍās  told me to embrace Jagannāthadeva and Baladeva Prabhu and I felt great happiness and joy doing so. I had a god-brother from Jalandhar with me also. I came and narrated the incident to Gurudeva excitedly and he told me very mildly and convincingly, that it is alright that pāṇḍās  invite us, but we should never touch śri-vigraha.  Later on, I got more chances to visit the temple but never did such a thing again. This is Gurudev's teaching to me. We accompanied Gurudev to many temples during Vraja maṇḍala-parikramā and observed that Gurudeva never entered the sanctum sanctorum of the temple and touched śri-vigraha . The pūjārīs there would invite Gurudev to go inside, but Gurujī would not go. At Gopeśvara Mahādeva  mandira , the pāṇḍās  called Gurudeva inside but Gurudev did not enter the sanctum sanctorum ( garbha-gṛha ) and...

In 1996 during Ratha-yatra time, Śrīla Gurudeva was advised by the doctors not to bend much and to avoid movements (including dancing and kirtanas ) due to a back injury.  At t hat time in Agartala, I personally saw Śrīla Guru Mahārāja bending down to offer full  dandavat pranamas (prostrated obeisance) to the Supreme Lord with great difficulty.    When we objected to his doing this he would say if pranamas were not done before the Supreme Lord then a feeling of pride will remain in the mind.   Morning and evening after arāti-parikramā he would offer pranamas to all v aiṣṇavas along with others.   Also, He could not stop himself from performing dance and kirtana before the ratha . —Śrī Dāmodara Das (Satish Agrawal, New Delhi) Translated from Sri Krishna Chaitanya Sandesh July-Oct, 1997 (Year 17, Issue No.4, Page 42-46)

[In the early 90's] we had the good fortune of going for Jagannātha Puri ratha-yātrā . Our train was late by many hours and reached at about 1 o'clock in the afternoon on the day of r atha-yātrā . We had darśana of Guru Mahārāja and that afternoon at about 4 pm ratha-yātrā would begin.   Guru Mahārāja told us that they were going to Kolkata by train that night and from there to Agartala in the morning by flight.  He continued, “All of you spent so much money and came from so far for Jagannāthjī’s darśana,  but today Jagannāthajī has no wish to go to Guṇḍicā Devī's temple. Jagannāthajī may not go today, so you take darśana of Jagannāthajī following the footsteps of Param Pūjyapāda Bhakti Pramod Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja tomorrow morning after we leave.”   That afternoon Guru Mahārāja did kirtanas and played mṛdaṅga himself.  I felt as though Mahāprabhu Himself was playing mṛdaṅga . After playing for ten minutes, Amarendra Prabhu started playing  mṛdaṅga ....

I had my first darśan of Gurujī in Chandigarh maṭh. My grandmother's house is in Chandigarh and I had heard that the evening ārati in the Śrī Rādhākṛṣṇa mandir in Sector B was splendid. During my holidays whenever I was in my grandmother's place I used to visit there with my friends. My first darśan of Gurujī was there in 2010 when I was completing my degree. One Sunday afternoon Kṛṣṇa das prabhu offered to take me for Gurujī's darśan . I had heard from my grandfather that when we go for darśan of saints and elders, we should not go empty-handed, so I asked Kṛṣṇa das prabhujī what Gurujī likes and went with some packets of Marie Gold biscuits to offer to him. When I offered pranāms and offered him the biscuits, he asked, "How did you know that I eat this?" I said, "Kṛṣṇa das prabhujī told me." He gave prasādam and offering pranāms , we came out. I did not speak anything much with him. After that, my visits to the maṭh became regular and I started ...


Today is the viraha-tithi of our Most Worshipable Guru Mahārāj. Guru Mahārāj used to say if Gurudev enacts the pastimes of disappearance it is to enhance the separation grief of his disciples.  This applies to only his real disciples.  We never thought or imagined that we will have to live without his darśan .  In his presence, we never felt when it was day or when night, how the days, fortnights, months, or years passed in the past thirty-five years.  Though I could not even externally take real association of Guru Mahārāj, his association was such that just after returning home from attending one program with him I would plan for the next program, whether it be in Punjab, Orissa, Bengal, or Maharashtra.  Wherever Guru Mahārāj went, I cannot say I went, but Gurudev's mercy attracted and pulled me to him. Only by his mercy can a householder, materialist, wicked, greedy for name and fame, egoist like me understand and adorn Gurudev and his words in his heart? ...

We are all connected with our Spiritual Master or our spiritual father and our hidden feelings come out more on this viraha-tithi to show that we are connected because all our hidden feelings come out. Maybe those feelings are eclipsed by our environment, but they are very strong inside us. Who can ever think that our Guru Mahārāj is not there? 

Guru-tattva is very subtle, very intricate. Guru-tattva is manifested in your feelings, in your thoughts, and in your expressions; we can feel this is guru-tattva .  Sometimes it comes to my mind why is it that we could not realize Gurudev's tattva when we were with him. He was so simple, so gentle, so soft, and so encouraging. Our Padmanābha Mahārāj said Gurudev will like to remove the fear of the disciple so that a disciple can express his thoughts. Guru Mahārāj makes us fearless when speaking out our hearts to him. And sometimes we become assured that we can say whatever we want to him.

 I remember traveling with Guru Mahārāj ...

When Śrīla Guru Mahārāja's final pastimes were manifest I was very fortunate to be there and got the sevā of bringing medicines, coordinating things, etc.  Eight days before he entered into mahā-samādhi things were getting more and more critical and many devotees had gathered in the Kolkata Maṭh. I got a very strong feeling that we must do kīrtan , and so did some devotees like Rasbihari Prabhu and our Gaurasundar Prabhu from England, but somehow it was not appreciated, some thought it would disturb Guru Mahārāj. So we just sat a little bit to the back of the balcony, not too close to Guru Mahārāj, and started maṅgalācaraṇa prayers there and started the kīrtan on a low volume, and gradually more and more devotees joined and the kīrtan slowly grew.  Once the kīrtan started it never stopped and it went on for eight days, day and night. Śrīla Bhakti Niketan Turyāśramī Mahārāj, who is one of the senior-most god-brothers of Guru Mahārāj also consented.  Devotees who wit...

When I had darśan of Gurudeva for the first time, he inquired about me and told me to stay in the temple and serve. Two years later, Gurudeva came to Agartala without a  sevāk , so I was given the service of cooking for him. Once Gurudeva asked me for some salt for mouthwash. I  urgently gave him some salt on a piece of paper. He then brought my attention to the fact that  there was  kṛṣṇa-nāma  written on the piece of paper. He explained that it was not proper to use it like that as kṛṣṇa-nāma and Kṛṣṇa Himself are non-different. I said, "Yes, Gurudeva. I understand." Gurudeva used to take roṭī  at night and I prepared them in a way that was very soft.  Gurudeva asked me whether I kneaded the dough with warm water and I said no.  Then he asked his sevāk  Anantarām (Amarendra Prabhu) to learn from me about how to make such soft roṭī .   Gurudeva has three godbrothers in Goalpara: Śacīnandana Prabhu, Deenasharan ...

I remember how Śrīla Gurudev bestowed his affection to make this soul who had been caught in the quicksand of the material world a servant of the servant of Śrī Hari, Guru, and Vaiṣṇavas. After taking shelter of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj’s lotus feet, I got the good fortune of his association for the first time during Śrīdhām Māyāpur.  Throughout the five days of parikramā, I observed Śrīla Gurudev in the morning at the samādhi mandir of Param Gurudev Om Vishnupad 108 Śrī Śrīmad Bhakti Dayita Madhava Goswami Mahārāj and maṅgalārati after that.  He was walking barefoot in parikramā the whole day, crying out in ecstatic kīrtans while dancing and then singing glories at various pastime places. His presence could always be seen for the evening kathā even when devotees were not turning up. He was doing all these devotional activities uninterruptedly, without taking rest for the body. I have not seen such a degree of patience and such conduct in anyone else to date.  Most of the time,...

Śrīla Guru Mahārāj’s tolerance was seen as being many times more than the tolerance of a tree during Śrī Navadvip dhāma-parikramā.  Although the road was severely hot from the sun, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj walked with his soft lotus feet on that heated surface as though it was not hot at all while we were lifting our feet up quickly from the pavement and experiencing great difficulty while walking. I was astonished to see Gurujī’s tolerance. Even at an advanced age, he would walk barefoot taking darśana of various holy places and narrating the glories of the pastime places starting from 4 o’clock in the morning until 7 in the evening, often continuing until late in the night. Even after such a long day, he remained in a very peaceful mood. There was no sign of tiredness on the face or any complaints that could be observed. In spite of the devotees' prayers that there could be a vehicle arranged for him, Gurujī always expressed his unwillingness. Similarly,  while wa...

Like a real ācārya , Śrīla Gurudev walked barefoot throughout the dhām-parikramā in any condition, whether it be flooding, mud, or dust. He would say that by the association of devotees, devotion will come. He spoke of himself as ordinary. He walked from village to village and sat down in poor people's huts and would take prasādam there; he would not even use a chair.  He did not go to preach or make devotees; he went everywhere so that he may become a devotee. With that thought, he went. Gurudeva is a pilgrimage place, the dhām himself.   bhavad-vidhā bhāgavatās tīrtha-bhūtāḥ svayaṁ vibho tīrthī-kurvanti tīrthāni svāntaḥ-sthena gadābhṛtā ( Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam , 1.3.10) [My Lord, devotees like your good self are verily holy places personified. Because you carry the Personality of Godhead within your heart, you turn all places into places of pilgrimage.] Tīrthī-kurvanti tīrthāni — he is an embodiment of tīrtha . All pilgrimage places are in his heart and he converts all th...

I first met Guru Maharaj in San Francisco. I was working in Ramdas Prabhu’s house. I had heard about Guru Maharaj's glories from Bindu Madhav Prabhu (France). He had told me how amazing Guru Maharaj was and hearing from him, I started to develop some attraction for Guru Maharaj. I feel like Guru Maharaj is so attractive and non-different from Supreme Lord: sākṣād-dharitvena samasta-śāstrair . Krishna attracts all and gives ānanda . This is how Guru Maharaj is, he attracts everyone like a magnet and in return gives us ānanda. So just hearing of his glories, even though I hadn’t met him I became attracted. As I was working in Ramdas Prabhu’s house, I was surrounded by Guru Maharaj’s books such as “Sri Chaitanya: His Life and Associates” and Srila Bhakti Pramod Puri Maharaj’s books, as well as books by so many exalted Vaishnavas and now I see that the presence of these books was purifying me. When Guru Maharaj came with his entourage and associates I was very curious to meet him. ...

My mother took Harinām from Gurudev. She fell ill during the last two or three years of her stay in this world. She was always speaking to Guru Mahārāj in her heart. Even though she was not in a position to do anything, whatever she had to do – go to the bathroom, eat, or whatever – she would only say, "Gurujī, Gurujī, Gurujī, Gurujī..." My mother-in-law also often told me, "Guru Mahārāj will do so much good for me." Once, I heard that Guru Mahārāj came to New Delhi, so my wife and I went to the maṭh. I got a garland from him, took it back to my house, and put it on my mother-in-law. She immediately left the body. The next day, we took her to the crematorium, and Gurujī, with his own hands, sent a tulasī for her. She always wanted to serve Guru Mahārāj with a nice quilt, etc. Guru Mahārāj was pleased with her that she always wanted to do service, so Guru Mahārāj also assisted her in her last stages of life. She told Guru Mahārāj one time " I don't re...

In Nandagoan, Śrī Vidyāsāgar, a devotee from Hoshiyarpur and also Gurujī’s god-brother, suddenly fell ill.  He was not even able to get up, so some devotees from Bhatinda and Jalandhar served him very much, yet his health deteriorated more and more.  Gurujī started worrying about him very much.  He even went several times to see him.   When Cidānanda Prabhu returned from Varṣāṇā after completing some service in the evening, Gurujī called him to his room and told him that Vidyāsāgar should be taken to a good doctor at Kosi for immediate treatment.  The place was such that it was difficult to get a taxi at night.  Somehow Cidānanda Prabhu got one Maruti. Many devotees gathered around the van. Some devotees carried Vidyāsāgar into the van and laid him down.  Some necessary things like a water bottle, glass, a woolen blanket, and some clothes were taken along.  Cidānanda Prabhu, Śrī Rajesh of Jalandhar, and Śrī Amarnath Sharma’s son, Śrī Manoj of Bha...

Guru Mahārāja has been very affectionate and in many ways very merciful to me. I first met him in Singapore when I was working there around 1997.  I was very fortunate to be introduced to Gurudev by Hṛṣīkeśa Mahārāja, an American devotee who was the first Western disciple of Śrīla Śrīdhar Deva Mahārāja.   The first occasion I associated with Guru Mahārāja was in service to him as a chauffeur. After work, I would drive Guru Mahārāja with his sevāks Rasbihari Prabhu, Bhūtabhāvana Prabhu, and Madanmohan Prabhu. My duty was very simple; I was to take them from point A to point B and take them to all house programs and temples. I would count the number of bags and also ensure that the daṇḍa was inside the car and their seat belts were buckled, finally asking Guru Mahārāja’s permission if we may go. Whatever I have done is a very small sevā , but Guru Mahārāja appreciated it and somehow or the other he was affectionate to me. Once while driving in the car Guru Mahārāja spoke to me...