Praṇamāmi Guru Tīrtha Padaṁ

Gaursundar Prabhu was there in Guwahati hospital, and he started doing kirtan for the first time. There was space near the hospital, and the arrangement was such that Gurudev was moved to another separate room. It was near an empty building next to the hospital. Gaurasundar Prabhu started doing kirtan there and the sound of kirtan went directly to Guru Maharaj's room. That was his arrangement. Muni Maharaj was there and he sang, Sri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhu, doya koro more . I still remember the mood with which he sang. That time, moods of material discomforts, they all disappeared. Everyone was filled with deep feelings for Gurudev, and with that mood they sang. Everybody had Gurudev in their mind, in their heart. The full mood was with Gurudev. Being a part of that kirtan, was really a different experience. That time I took a snap just to remember that, I still have that snap. It was altogether a different atmosphere that time. Then the kirtan started regularly f...

I reflect on how the devotees and disciples of HDG Srila Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvami Maharaj were united in Sankirtana of the holy names of the Lord and recitations of Lord's pastimes with His devotees from scriptures like Srimad Bhagavata Purana and Chaitanya Bhagavata etc. With intense devotion, crying out from their hearts and with intense love of their Gurudev, they are calling out to Lord Hari and the previous Acaryas through Kirtan and prayers. 
 Shri Chaitanya Gaudiya Math in Kolkata presided over by their Lordships Shri Shri Radha Nayana Nath jiu is verily non different from Shri Shrivas Angan wherein Shri Shri Gadadhara Gauranga preside over the late night's Sankirtana! 
 With pain in my heart, I am remembering those sweet moments I had with Srila Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvami Maharaj and those divine darshans with him, his beautiful and timely instructions for me. Those darshans were kindly arranged by his disciples over the years. 
 Just as Shri Rupa Gosvami...

I never had any chance to interact directly with His Divine Grace because of His illness pastimes. But even then I consider myself a most fortunate disciple because of the firm faith I have that one of the reasons for his physical presence amongst us is to bestow his unparalleled mercy upon as many of the fallen souls as possible. I am writing this to express my heartfelt realizations since I have come in contact with His Divine Grace. I came in touch with Krishna consciousness through ISKCON around the year 2000 and I was also chanting 16 rounds on beads since 2008. But for one reason or the other, I did not get formally initiated. The prime reason for this was that I simply could not decide who had the qualification to become guru as this person was going to be responsible for taking me back to Godhead. Even though I had taken shelter of a sanyasi in ISKCON, but I could not make a decision to get initiated because of this dilemma. Then in 2013, my fortune arose when I was employed ...

The following observations and divine incidents related to Srila Gurudeva's sickness pastimes in Guwahati, 2013 were noted by Prahlad Das and sent out to those on the mailing list. We have compiled them here: ---- atah sri krishna namadi na bhaved grahyam indriyaih sevonmukhe hi jihvadau svayam eva sphuratyadah The pastimes of Supreme Lord and His dear associates are beyond the comprehension of a material mind. But only to a surrendered soul performing loving devotional service, They are revealed. Pure devotees descend from the Lord's Abode by Their own will and perform many extraordinary and seemingly ordinary pastimes. In the course of their every activity,  they instruct and inspire the souls of the world diseased with material vanity to perform loving devotional service to the Supreme Lord. But by playing the special pastimes of sickness they intensify the mood of loving exchange of surrendered disciples. Srila Gurudev spoke volumes and enchanted many, especia...

It was with Gurudeva that I first had a very powerful experience of what sabda-brahma is. Although I did not have the fortune of participating in any of Gurudeva's kirtans, I got to hear him pray to Param-Gurudeva and our previous Acaryas in Param-Gurudeva's Bhajan kutir. His simple uttering of the names of Param-Gurudeva and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Prabhupada in separation was the most powerful kirtan I have ever heard in my life, and I have been in many wonderful kirtans. I have read and heard from the Caitanya Caritamrta about the devotional ecstasies of Sri Gaurangadeva and his devotees, and Srila Gurudeva actually displayed these intense ecstasies of separation and captured my heart with his intense love for Param Gurudeva. Another interaction with Gurudeva that I cherish deeply in my heart is from when I had his darsana at the hospital in Guwahati. I was allowed to see Gurudeva face to face and, although his eyes were closed, he sent an overwhelming wave of a...

One day Guru Mahārāja suddenly got very restless and started saying, "I have to go to Goalpara, I have to go to Goalpara!" So Prasād Prabhu asked me to please explain to Gurudeva that I think it's not right for him to travel at this point in time. "Why don't you wait?" I asked. Very sweetly Guru Mahārāja agreed, but when I went out, he started saying the same thing again; "I have to go to Goalpara, I have to go to Goalpara!" That night, I had a dream of Guru Mahārāja in which I saw my childhood school where I studied until standard six. I saw the assembly area of that school and Guru Mahārāja was lying there so very still. I went there and put his head on my lap and asked, "What is happening? Why are you lying here?" He told me, “I am going. I will go, but I will not go.” It didn't make any sense at that time to me. The next day, I came to know that he forced everybody to go to Goalpara. Prahlāda Prabhu informed me after some days t...

During those days when Guru Mahārāja was becoming restless, he decided he will go to Goalpara. At that time, he would stay awake all night and wouldn't sleep most of the time. He wasn’t particularly well from a doctor’s point of view, so we decided to take him for a one-day check-up. I was standing at the entrance to the hospital and Guru Mahārāja came with 4-5 people in his vehicle. He got down with a big smile on his face and didn’t look at all like he was sick. Later he went into a ward where he could sit and wait until the rest of the things for the tests were arranged. I learned later that he was told he was being taken to my house as my guest–the big, big hospital, otherwise, he would not have agreed to go. When they started injections and drawing blood, he immediately said, "I will go back, I will go back!" It was also difficult to get him into the MRI. He came out and said, let’s go back to the maṭha. From then on, when he felt a little unwell, we tried to see and...

I met Śrīla Gurudeva in 2010 through a long, circuitous network of phone calls and recommendations. When I first came to see Guru Mahārāja, he was in his room downstairs in Kolkata. When I saw him for the first time, the main thing that struck me was what a childlike and innocent face he had, not that of a grumpy sādhu. We usually get a feeling when we meet sādhus that they are very serious people, and we maintain distance. But he was very soft-spoken, smiling, and spoke very slowly.  On that first visit, I gave him some medication and then left. Some months passed before I was to return. I was unfamiliar with that part of Kolkata and got lost on the way. After I became familiar with how to reach it, I came more often whenever Gurujī called.  On one of those visits, Guru Mahārāja told his personal attendant to give me the book called Affectionately Yours. Previously I had absolutely no idea of Vaiṣṇava Philosophy. My family was associated with the Rāmakṛṣṇa Mission and worship...

We received the message that Gurudeva is performing the pastimes of illness and whoever wants darśana should go to Guwahati. I was in the office then. The next day six of us traveled by flight from Pune to Guwahati. In the afternoon we arrived in Guwahati and went straight to the hospital (GNRC). We had darśana of Gurudeva from very far as he lay inside the room. That time he was fully unconscious. We had gotten a message from the sevāk team that the situation was very serious.   Gurudeva was on the fourth floor initially. We came back and there was a hall nearby the hospital where devotees would just sit and have conversation. The only topic of conversation was centered around Gurudeva. Everyone's attention was on the floor where Gurudeva was—that was the point from where the soul of that environment existed, the soul of the hospital. There was not even a single time I felt that I am visiting a hospital. It was an environment like the maṭha. Everybody was concerned about Gurudeva...

Once a devotee came to Gurujī and started criticizing another person. Gurujī heard him patiently and then replied, “From where do you get time to see all this?”  His priority in life was different. His life is all about the Supreme Lord, His Name, His kathā, His kīrtan, and so on. We see his detachment from the material world and attachment to the Supreme Lord. We see that he is detached even from his own body. He would get up early in the morning, lead all the sabhā, and then retire late. He said that his body is for the service of his Gurudeva.  When he exhibited the pastimes of sickness he used to feel sad saying, “I am no longer able to serve my Gurudeva properly. If I am not able to serve my Gurudeva then what is the use of keeping this body?” - Śrīla Bhakti Kiṅkara Dāmodara Mahārāja

Devotees from all over India arrived at GNRC hospital in Guwahati after Gurudeva was admitted there. There were many who did not worry about their job or family responsibilities and just left their homes. We were very anxious and worried about Gurudeva's health. That tension was seen on the faces of devotees and his sevāk team. Gurudeva responded to each and every person who had come there. I had seen this while observing the line for Gurudeva's darśana in the maṭha previously, and I was reminded of that when I saw the line in GNRC hospital. While we were waiting, we heard that Gurudeva has come to external consciousness and was giving darśana. One devotee named Bunty had come from Bombay was so happy when he came out from having darśana. He said that Gurudeva's face was so bright. The darśana that he had was seen on his shining face and he was so happy. Jyoti Mātājī was the next to have darśana. When she came out, she was also so happy. I thought Bombay devotees have a dif...

Śrīla Tīrtha Mahārāja is still present among us while playing a līlā (pastime). Although some say he is unwell, I disagree. Those who are afflicted by illness cannot remain peaceful and quiet. The disease itself will make them cry out, “Aah, ooh, eeh, aah,” and their faces lose their luster. This is not seen in Mahārāja.  Do you see how beautiful he is?  His radiance is blissful – mukhaṁ prasannaṁ vimalācha dṛṣṭiḥ (1) — a “pleased face, soft clear gaze." Whereas those who are afflicted cry out, "Aah! Eeh!", and their eyes reflect their suffering. 
 Though omnipotent, Bhagavān localizes Himself as the Deity in order to accept service in order to bestow auspiciousness upon his servitors. In the Deity form, Bhagavān says, “If you want to feed Me, then feed Me. If you don’t want to feed Me, then don’t. Whatever kinds or quality of food you feed Me, I will eat.”  
 He does not complain whether they offer Him food or not, whether they serve Him properly or not. Mahārāj ha...