Praṇamāmi Guru Tīrtha Padaṁ


Today is the viraha-tithi of our Most Worshipable Guru Mahārāj. Guru Mahārāj used to say if Gurudev enacts the pastimes of disappearance it is to enhance the separation grief of his disciples.  This applies to only his real disciples.  We never thought or imagined that we will have to live without his darśan .  In his presence, we never felt when it was day or when night, how the days, fortnights, months, or years passed in the past thirty-five years.  Though I could not even externally take real association of Guru Mahārāj, his association was such that just after returning home from attending one program with him I would plan for the next program, whether it be in Punjab, Orissa, Bengal, or Maharashtra.  Wherever Guru Mahārāj went, I cannot say I went, but Gurudev's mercy attracted and pulled me to him. Only by his mercy can a householder, materialist, wicked, greedy for name and fame, egoist like me understand and adorn Gurudev and his words in his heart? ...

I was actually hiding today because I really do not like this day as it is always painful for me—after four years I feel a blockage inside to speak because this departure of Gurudev was the biggest and most difficult thing I have experienced in this spiritual life.  It feels so hard, so I was trying to hide today—but then I said, “no," go on the screen and just share and be present with the devotees. It is beautiful and I received a lot to hear all of you remembering Guru Mahārāj. I don't know what to really say about him. Right now I just have a very fine and tender connection with Guru Mahārāj, it is not about the big, mystic, miraculous things that he has done—it is something softer, it is his continuous presence that is always with me whatever I am doing.  Two days ago I was thinking he really saved me when I was thinking about the difference in my life between before I met him and now—this is like darkness and light.  Just by surrendering to him, so many things chang...