Praṇamāmi Guru Tīrtha Padaṁ

Our first Rāmanavamī celebration was a big revolution, a great struggle, because we knew our Gurudev would not accept Guru-puja from us. Gurudev had always fixed in his mind that he is an akiñcana disciple of his Gurudev ( akiñcana meaning a person who considers his Gurudev his only wealth and nothing else of this material world) and this was unchallengeable. Śrī Dandi Mahārāj is witness to our first attempt to offer Vyāsa-puja to Gurudev in Chandigarh maṭha . With great difficulty, 3-4 devotees came into Gurudev's room with a plate full of lamps to match his years and as a huge plate of glowing lamps waved before him, we saw his head moving round and round following its direction. He felt afraid that the burning lamps may perhaps fall on his bed. We were in an awkward situation and not looking at his face we were performing arāti singing “Jai Gurudev, Jai Gurudev.” This type of program had never occurred. Now we realize the lost opportunity we had all those years before whe...

When I had darśan of Gurudeva for the first time, he inquired about me and told me to stay in the temple and serve. Two years later, Gurudeva came to Agartala without a  sevāk , so I was given the service of cooking for him. Once Gurudeva asked me for some salt for mouthwash. I  urgently gave him some salt on a piece of paper. He then brought my attention to the fact that  there was  kṛṣṇa-nāma  written on the piece of paper. He explained that it was not proper to use it like that as kṛṣṇa-nāma and Kṛṣṇa Himself are non-different. I said, "Yes, Gurudeva. I understand." Gurudeva used to take roṭī  at night and I prepared them in a way that was very soft.  Gurudeva asked me whether I kneaded the dough with warm water and I said no.  Then he asked his sevāk  Anantarām (Amarendra Prabhu) to learn from me about how to make such soft roṭī .   Gurudeva has three godbrothers in Goalpara: Śacīnandana Prabhu, Deenasharan ...

I have seen so much strength in the life of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja, you cannot even imagine how much patience he showed. Really I am bound to confess that I am always receiving  kṛpā  from Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja and Bhakti Vijñāna Bhāratī Gosvāmī Mahārāja. They are watching me, blessing me from above.  I remember the glories of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja and Śrīla Bhakti Vijñāna Bhāratī Gosvāmī Mahārāja because they are my Gurus.     I learned so many things from Śrīla Tirtha Mahārāja's character, behavior, and perseverance. His enduring power continues to revive me even today. If any of you were in my place, you may die due to heart failure. I am still living today because I have one example in front of me, our Tirtha Mahārāja.   With tears rolling down my cheeks, I wrote one letter to Śrīla Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja that I confidently promised by touching this Vṛndāvana-dhāma t...

Every jīvā is unique. In spite of millions and millions of human species, each one is different. Five children of one mother may differ in looks, nature, behavior, habits, etc. Some difference is always there in mind, thinking, intelligence, etc.; even twins differ. I once asked Gurudeva a question: "How can we live unitedly, in a friendly way with all our associates in the maṭha ?" Gurudeva answered: Do you think anything will happen according to your wish? If you think like this, then you are a fool. God has given every living being free will (independence) icchā , kriyā , and  anubhūti , i.e. thinking, feeling, and willing. You can desire anything in mind but no one acts according to your wish, they act according to their will and wish. If you want to live harmoniously, you have to adjust with them. You can change yourself, not others. We cannot change Bhagavān's creation. How can you change others, when you yourself cannot even change? There is no other way. Thi...

I can never forget when Gurudev took five buses of devotees to Thakur Villa, a village about fifty kilometers away from Goalpara. One of our god-brothers there had invited Gurudev to his home. Our buses stopped at the outskirts of the village and we saw a large local kirtan group performing kirtans with  mṛdaṅga  while awaiting Gurudev's arrival. Their mahāmantra kirtan was so wonderful that when Guru Mahārāj heard it, he was overwhelmed and tears started rolling down from his eyes. Gurudev was so pleased hearing their kirtan that he asked them to continue. Thus the kirtan group went ahead followed by Gurudev and all the other sannyāsīs  and devotees. All along the way, tears were rolling down from Gurudev's eyes non-stop.  And when we went further, a group of Assamese women was waiting to welcome us. Some of them were waving hand fans of peacock feathers and palm leaves, some had flowers to offer, and some were waving incense sticks. A big group of women came i...

During Śrī Navadvīp parikramā at prasād time, devotees would line up. They were offered big leaf plates and were served salt, a green chili, and a slice of lemon. They served steaming hot rice ( anna ) piled up like a mountain. The dal was thin and watery. When the prasād was served we chanted mahā-prasāde govinde . After additional prayers concluded, everyone started honoring prasād .   As I observed hungry persons getting busy eating mouthfuls, I felt still, just sitting and thinking. I had not started when I saw someone standing near my plate and I lifted my head to see it was Guru Mahārāj. He had come to see me.  He understood that this was my first experience of prasād in Māyāpur. As he smiled, he told me, "This is prasād offered to Śrī Mahāprabhu." The moment I heard these words I started honoring prasād mouthfuls quickly. My taste of food changed there and prasād then was so simple, humble, only two-three items, that is all. On special feasts, the only addi...

To be frank, in 1986 when I went for Māyāpur parikramā , I was not ready for anything; I was not eligible to understand anything. For me, those things were out of this world. I had a language barrier as I did not understand Bangla. Except for Gurudev, all others were speaking Bangla. Besides Gurudev, I had no one to speak to so I would follow Gurudev and listen to his explanations. He would walk us through the middle of a waterlogged paddy field on a two feet dry track. While Gurudev was moving ahead, I was holding an umbrella for Gurudev and also sometimes holding Guru Mahārāj himself because of the difficulty to hold one’s balance on that small track with water on both sides.  Sometimes I would have to enter the water to give Gurudev the required space to walk and hold the big umbrella over him at the same time. The experience was altogether out of this world. At that time, Guru Mahārāj would sit and tell us the name of the place (Jagai-Madai ghat , Mahāprabhur ghat , Barakona gh...