His External Withdrawal Is An Opportunity For Deeper Inner Connection

When Śrīla Guru Mahārāja's final pastimes were manifest I was very fortunate to be there and got the sevā of bringing medicines, coordinating things, etc.  Eight days before he entered into mahā-samādhi things were getting more and more critical and many devotees had gathered in the Kolkata Maṭh. I got a very strong feeling that we must do kīrtan, and so did some devotees like Rasbihari Prabhu and our Gaurasundar Prabhu from England, but somehow it was not appreciated, some thought it would disturb Guru Mahārāj. So we just sat a little bit to the back of the balcony, not too close to Guru Mahārāj, and started maṅgalācaraṇa prayers there and started the kīrtan on a low volume, and gradually more and more devotees joined and the kīrtan slowly grew.  Once the kīrtan started it never stopped and it went on for eight days, day and night. Śrīla Bhakti Niketan Turyāśramī Mahārāj, who is one of the senior-most god-brothers of Guru Mahārāj also consented. 

Devotees who witnessed these kīrtans said they were amongst the most intense kīrtans in the history of Śree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭh. Guru Mahārāj entered into nitya-līlā after eight days while devotees were singing the bhajan "Rādhā-kunḍa taṭa" by Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākur. This is one of the most beloved kīrtans of Guru Mahārāj. This was being sung at the time he entered into the nitya-līlā indicating that his eternal service is connected with Śrī Rādhā Kunda. So, this wonderful pastime also shows Guru Mahārāj's connection to Śrī Vṛndāvan-dhām, particularly Girirāj.



The entire samādhi ceremony was very mystical. As we were putting the last layers of soil on the samādhi, suddenly we heard thunder strike and the clouds burst. A thunderstorm uprooted several trees and clouds were pouring down massive torrents of rain.  It was like all the higher devotees and devatās were pouring down their tears of bliss. Although we felt more separation at the same time there was this bliss in the air; the feeling was both bittersweet and ecstatic at the same time. Because, many are sad about his passing, Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa are happy that their beloved eternal associate is rejoining Them. I just wanted to share with you at least some of the impressions that stuck with me. Today we should remember this pastime especially because this is a very heartbreaking pastime but at the same time, it is very special for the devotees. 

To the question, "How is it possible that we can have separation from Kṛṣṇa when we have never met Him?" Śrīla Gour Govinda Mahārāj replied, "When I leave, then you will miss me, then you will understand and have separation."  So that viraha-prema really is only possible for us after we have had a chance to get to know a pure devotee of Kṛṣṇa, who is an eternal associate of Kṛṣṇa, a vraja-rasika. When we miss Him and cry, we hanker for his association. So actually his leaving is a blessing in disguise.

Once we miss Guru deeply, we will ask ourselves where we can find him again. Once I was in the Sevākuñja temple of Śrīla Bhakti Vaibhāva Purī Mahārāja, and one of his sannyāsī disciples asked me where my Gurudeva was now. I replied that he has entered samādhī, to which he repeated the same question again, but very forcibly. After praying to Śrīla Gurudeva I replied, “It is noon now, so she is in Rādhākuṇḍa.” The sannyāsī smiled with satisfaction and gave me his blessings. 

In the connection with vraja-rasikas, our viraha will ripen and we will develop a deep and very strong hankering to be reunited with Guru and Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa in a particular way in Vṛndāvana. This hankering for pure service in the vraja-līlās is called laulyam or lobha. Laulyam is the essence of our sādhana and the core drive of vraja-bhakti.  And this is really the treasure that Guru Mahārāj wants to put into our hearts.  When he is able to do that then it is almost like you can say “mission complete,” because as Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has mentioned in Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu (Padyāvalī (13, 14) the only cause or price or root of that vraja-bhakti or rāganuga-bhakti is laulyam.

tatra laulyam api mūlyam ekalaṁ

janma-koṭi-sukṛtair na labhyate

So this is the mood we should focus on in our bhajan as we have seen Guru Mahārāj. He is completely immersed in this internal relish and in viraha-prema and it is difficult for him to contain his external status so that he can communicate with the people. We have seen that sometimes he would also break out into tears spontaneously. Chanting and offering abundant prayers at the beginning of his classes or while doing kīrtans he is also completely immersed. Generally, we are told by our guru-varga that the devotees in our lineage try to contain their feelings as much as possible so that they can serve even more.  We have seen this in Guru Mahārāj also, especially when Guru Mahārāj used to have darśan of Śrīla Param Guru Mahārāj's bhajan kuṭir daily. Every morning he would step out from his bhajan kuṭir and offer his praṇāms and prayers to Śrīla Param Gurudev Mahārāj. He would offer the most heartfelt prayers and break out into tears in front of Param Guru Mahārāj and he would beg him to please take him back to  eternal Vṛndāvana.  

We have seen that each and every day.  Such a deep hankering, such greed to enter into the eternal pastimes.  We have seen in him the limit of vraja-bhakti in perfection and thus we are very, very fortunate even if we just see the video recordings or hear people speak about Guru Mahārāja's indescribable love for Rādhākṛṣṇa, we can get that intensity immediately that provides inspiration to continue our sādhana.  

Sometimes we may lag behind but then again we have these opportunities like today to hear about him on āvirbhāv tithi, all the mahotsavs so we can gather together and again hear about Guru Mahārāj's transcendental glories and remind each other of the unlimited fortune that we all share—that we have had such a treasure of rare association with an eternal associate of the Lord and that he has shared his feelings with us. This is the real treasure, that transcendental hankering that we should also develop in our hearts.  He has shared that with us and when we develop that hankering that pulls us ultimately to Goloka then that is really what pleases Guru Mahārāj and all the other things like serving the vaiṣṇavas like doing the sevās in the temple, outside the temple, at home, in your family, they are all ingredients of this menu that ultimately should give us the taste of that deep vraja-prema which is especially characterized by deep hankering. Guru Mahārāj was a perfect example of manifesting this hankering and teaching it to everyone.  

And so today I want to remember these very special occasions that some of us were able to see on a daily basis; they are priceless treasures.  

And Guru Mahārāj used to always encourage everyone that you don't have to be in physical proximity to your Gurudev to fully please him.  It is totally fine if you live on the other side of the planet and if you hardly have any physical proximity or even sevā to Guru Mahārāj because it is the inner connection that is really pleasing to Guru Mahārāj.  If you are having that inner drive, that greed to attain the eternal Vṛndāvan under the guidance of Guru Mahārāj, to attain his eternal service in Vṛndāvan, if that greed is increasing, that's it—that's what really pleases Gurudev no matter where you are and what you do, in which situation you are in externally. You may be in a so-called miserable situation. Right now we are facing a lot of tragedies with the covid pandemic but we are also getting a chance to go deeper. In lockdown, I had wonderful exchanges with devotees. We were forced to be in the same space and we were able to go deeper. So we may be in separation physically from Guru Mahārāj. We may not have been together with him for very long externally, or right now we may be in tragedy, but really what counts is that inner hankering that Guru Mahārāj has planted in our hearts.  

Guru Mahārāj always encouraged me to take care of foreign devotees and one of the main plights of the foreign devotees was that we always feel so desperate to be able to do some service to Gurudev, to be in his proximity— but we can come seldomly, only once every five years or ten years, for example. Some devotees came after twelve years of separation and then Guru Mahārāj would tell them this, and I used to repeat it to the devotees: don't be discouraged if that happens, everything is the Lord's mercy:

tat te ’nukampāṁ su-samīkṣamāṇo 

bhuñjāna evātma-kṛtaṁ vipākam

hṛd-vāg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te

jīveta yo bhakti-pade sa dāya-bhāk

(Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, 10.14.8) 

We should see the Lord's mercy everywhere and he used to repeat that śloka over and over again until it went deeper and deeper and deeper and then he used to say that what really counts is your inner connection with Śrī-Śrī Guru and Gauranga, that is how you can please Guru and not only the external sevā. He gave this example in a beautiful analogy.  I am sure some of you will remember him telling the story of those bed bugs who were staying in the same bed as a sādhu, having very close sādhu-saṅga with the sādhu.  They were in such close proximity that they actually touched his skin, they were sucking his blood.  So that is not sādhu-saṅga.  Mere physical proximity does not define sādhu-saṅga and Guru Mahārāj explained that many devotees may be staying in close proximity to Gurudev but they do not actually please him whereas others may be far away but they fully satisfy Śrī-Śrī Guru and Gauranga internally.


I remember there was one incident where this also played out. Gurudev mentioned, that one devotee who was serving in one of the temples (maybe Chakdah temple, but I'm not sure), was seemingly doing only very simple sevā. At night, he was sleeping out somewhere in the corridors. Nobody really recognized him, because he apparently did not do any so-called “important service” and so was not known amongst the devotee community.  Yet when he left his body, Guru Mahārāj said that he is going directly to the transcendental pastimes of the Lord. Everybody was so surprised because Guru Mahārāj hardly ever said this about any devotee.  But with this particular devotee, he did say that.  So this is an example of how that inner connection is much more important than what we may be doing externally.  We may be having great so-called “success” externally, maybe building many temples and preaching very successfully and what not and everybody may think that we are successful in our devotion.  But internally, if we do not really have that connection, then that really is not yet what we really want to get in our connection with Guru Mahārāj.  

Śrīla Bhakti Prajñān Keśava Gosvāmī Mahārāj explained this very beautifully; it is published in a book that came out a few years ago called Kṛti Ratna. I am paraphrasing here. He said that you may toil tirelessly in the service of your Gurudev, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, (always) with utter simplicity, and with full surrender. This is of course very high guru-bhakti and I am far away from that and many of us would never dare to say we are close to that. But he says, that even then, if you have not caught the inner heart's desire of your Gurudev, then your guru-bhakti has not started yet! So in other words, this connection to the inner desire of Gurudev is the most important treasure and we can deepen that connection wherever we are. We can miss that connection in close proximity with Gurudev and we can get that connection when we are apparently far away.  



So this is what I wanted to share to encourage everyone who is far away from Guru Mahārāj in so many ways. Now we are all in one sense far away from Gurudev but we can nevertheless come closer and closer.  Another encouragement I wanted to share is that when Guru Mahārāj withdraws externally, many times he manifests more inside.  So let us all pray that we will get this deeper connection and encourage each other in going deeper in this connection.  You all please shower your causeless mercy upon me that I may also be able to go deeper in this connection by the causeless mercy of all the wonderful devotees.



—Rādhāmādhava Das

5.5.2021