“If You Want Kṛṣṇa-bhakti From the Core of Your Heart, In That Same Moment, You Will Get It”
I am feeling very blessed and happy to be invited to this online program. The reason I am sitting here is also by the hundred percent mercy of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja. Without him, I could not speak one word here about Kṛṣṇa, Vaiṣṇavas, and of course about him also.
Narottama Dāsa Ṭhākura says in his song darśane pavitra koro-ei tomāra guṇ—just seeing a Vaiṣṇava, one becomes immediately purified in the heart. All Śāstras glorify sādhu-sanga, but in the case of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja, this is so true and I have personally experienced that.
When I met the devotees in 1999 here in Vienna, there was a small āśrama opened by our Muni Mahārāja who had just came from India. He wanted to leave everything and never return from India. But our Guru Mahārāja Viṣṇupad Śrī Bhakti Vaibhava Puri Gosvāmī met him and he inspired him to come back and do some preaching. So Pūjyapāda Muni Mahārāja opened this temple and at that time, I came there completely new. I had no idea what is bhakti, what is devotion, or what is Vedic culture.
After a few times going there, I was attracted by the kīrtana, prasādam, and atmosphere. Muni Mahārāja showed me one or two pictures which appeared to be old men. One was the picture of my [future] Gurudeva and one was the picture of your Gurudeva, Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja. he told me that these two great gurus are coming, so please come to the program. At that time I just saw an old man, I had no feeling or realization about who is a sādhu; I never met a sādhu. This is the problem here in the West. We have no living examples in our society. So I did not know the glories of sādhus.
So I came on that day when Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja came for the first time; it was around in April of 1999. When I went inside, I saw that it was a very small place. The temple room was maybe fifty square meters. And there was the kīrtana group including who is now the Ācārya Bhakti Vicāra Viṣṇu Mahārāja, Anantaramā Prabhu, and Śrīkanta Prabhu (now Nirīha Mahārāja). I came inside and sat down and was wondering while I was watching such nice, expert kīrtana which of these personalities was Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja because I did not remember how he looked from the picture I saw.
After some time, Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja entered the room. He came inside and then I realized, my God! It is really like what is written in the Śāstras—the Vaiṣṇava shines like the sun. I was really astonished to see such a person; I had never seen someone like that. He completely touched me and then I understood who Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja was. It was clear, self-evident, who is the guru, who is the real pure sādhu.
When Mahārāja sat down and he started speaking, I could not understand one single word. I spoke English at that time already, but his accent and words were very difficult for me to understand. Although I did not understand even one word that Mahārāja was speaking, I was sitting and listening while one Mataji was translating into German. I was wondering how she can catch sentences when I cannot catch a word. Even today I have no idea what he said on that day, but I was sitting there. And then one devotee requested "Mahārāja, will you lead the kīrtana of the ārati? So Mahārāja agreed. The mic stand just broke a few minutes before and so one devotee was holding the mic. After the class, Mahārāja took his daṇḍa, got up, and then evening ārati started.
And our friend Pūjyapāda Narasiṃha Mahārāja, who at that time he was not even initiated with the dīkṣā mantra, was doing the pūjārī service. There were no deities installed there yet. Instead of Mahārāja starting with bhaja bhakata-vatsala śrī-gaurahari, he started with ito Narasiṃha parato Narasiṃha—Narasiṃha kīrtana. Anantaramā Prabhu was playing mṛdaṅga and some devotees from Italy and Holland came and they brought big kartālas and ghaṇṭā. Then the kīrtana really started. Śrīla Mahārāja was just building up and started this "Jai dau" kīrtana. Never in my whole life have I seen anything like this kīrtana. It was very scary for me and I just went further and further away and hid behind one corner and watched the kīrtana from a little distance. It was so powerful and so nice.
I saw Mahārāja in the middle [of everything] proclaiming loudly with his full voice. His face became red and even veins came out on his neck. Both of his hands were in the air and he was calling Nitai Gauranga! with love and full of intensity. I never saw something like that. It really touched me so much but at the same time, it felt overwhelming. [I thought] my God, what is going on? The small room was vibrating, pulsating with three mṛdaṅgas and big kartālas. It was like fully energetic there, which was actually normal for Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja. He always lives in this atmosphere, but I never experienced that.
Pūjyapāda Muni Mahārāja said "Come, come, come inside, all are dancing" but I just stayed outside. I was not daring to enter the hall. Such an energy was there. So that kīrtana was also recorded by Gaurakiśora Prabhu and put also in the song book which Sree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha published later. Arjuna Prabhu from Holland made that song book and that kīrtana is there recorded as Jai dau kīrtana, Narasiṃha kīrtana. That was the kīrtana I heard the first time I saw Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja. So now even if I am traveling all over the world, in some devotees' cars, everywhere I am hearing this kīrtana. I always remember that. So after the kīrtana finished, it because it started again with "Hari bol!" It was really nice, ecstatic.
Then Muni Mahārāja, who is still temple president here in Vienna Temple, gave me that garland which Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja was wearing around his neck and he put it around my neck. And when this garland touched my body, I did not know what happened. I feel like if even today I am thinking of this, my hair is standing on end. I felt so happy like never in my life before. This garland came, the kīrtana, the darśana of Mahārāja and the prasādam also came and I felt so much happiness. When this garland touched my body, I got so high and I did not know what happened to me. And I was reflecting on my whole life at that moment and was thinking about what I have done throughout my life. I went to so many parties, I did so many sinful activities, I ran after so many women— this and that. All nonsense in my life. For what? Just to get happiness. But as I stood in this place, I found so much happiness is here, so why would I go anywhere else?
So on that day, I said to myself that I will no longer go to any club, disco, bar or anything. I just quit. I had no desire to change my lifestyle before I met Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja. I was thinking everything is ok in my life. But after one afternoon and two or three hours of association and this kīrtana, darśana, and this garland completely changed my life. From that moment I just stopped any interest in taking any intoxication or anything else. I just stopped it in one day without even desiring it again. So that is darśane pavitra koro-ei tomāra guṇ in one moment just the darśana of such a pure devotee made this in my life. Why? Because he gave me so much happiness which I had never experienced before. It was incredible.
So very shortly after that, two or three weeks later, my Gurudeva, Om Viṣṇupad Śrīla Bhakti Vaibhava Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja, came and at that time, I never again thought that he is an old man. I understood the power of a sādhu. I realized from that one meeting with the real sādhu, with such a pure devotee. And I was very eager to meet the other one which Muni Mahārāja showed me in the beginning. So with a completely different expectation, I met my Gurudeva. I was very eager and I invited many of my friends. from different circles. I invited all of them to come and meet such a person, an experience perhaps they'd never known. Actually only one came. So it is not so easy to somehow enthuse others for sādhu-sanga. I realized that also.
What is that experience of meeting one real sādhu? Since my first meeting with Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja, I think of him every day. I always keep Mahārāja’s picture there because I feel so indebted to him. Very soon after that, I met my Gurudeva and joined the temple. Then I went to India and I took initiation and until that time I am still staying in the āśrama always. So everything started by the mercy of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja. And the wonderful thing is, I told this story to some disciples of Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja and they told me that I am not the only case like this. Gurudeva’s quality is that so many people can just see him and hear the kīrtana and they change your life. This is the power of this realized soul's music. They carry Kṛṣṇa in their hearts. And every word they speak is surcharged with Kṛṣṇa and it goes so deep.
I also met Śrīla Mahārāja later on when he came a second time to Vienna to our small temple, I was already living inside the temple as a brahmacārī. I came there and I remember how much his disciples (including Pūjyapāda Bhakti Vicāra Viṣṇu Mahārāja, Anantaramā Prabhu, and Nirīha Mahārāja) accepted me. I was just one year or so living in the temple, but they completely accepted me like I was one among their family. It was so touching for me. I had no dīkṣā initiation, but I was cooking rice because nobody was there. The rice was not completely cooked and it was still a little hard inside. I mixed it with some yogurt, fruits, and sugar and offered it to them. One devotee complained that it was not properly cooked. At that moment they stepped in, saying "No, this is cooked by Vaiṣṇava. Don’t criticize." I was immediately touched. I am not a Vaiṣṇava and I was also completely new. I was not experienced or properly initiated. But they said, "No, no—this is coming from a Vaiṣṇava. So that is the mood of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja that he gave to his devotees also—to respect everyone and to serve everyone. I learned many things from him and his disciples about this point.
Later on when Śrīla Mahārāja came for the second time, I was living in the temple and I was very eager to listen to his kathā. I remember he was speaking for a very long time. The host of the program was the last one who was going to sleep and the first one who is getting up. So in the kathā, I was fighting with sleep and it was very difficult to stay awake. I was also very new and young at that time. Mahārāja did not stop speaking and again started a new topic and then again new. The second time he came to the temple he was there for three to four days and at that time, he only spoke glories of Ambarīṣa Mahārāja. He was going very deep. I really feel that Mahārāja blessed me by allowing me to fight sleep and remain trying to serve his hari-kathā.
I remember one incident that comes to my mind almost daily. We were in Māyāpura in 2010 or 2013. At that time, Mahārāja was already a little old and he was just sitting, not speaking so much. During darśana, one Russian devotee asked, "Oh Mahārāja, how to control the mind?" Then he was smiling a little and he said, "Everybody is asking this question." But then he gave such a wonderful answer. I had noted that in my diary. Mahārāja said, "If you want kṛṣṇa-bhakti from the core of your heart, that same moment, you will get it." He spoke this in a loud, thunderous voice: "in the same moment you will get it." The whole room was shaking. And then he said, "But now you go into your heart and see what is there." If we want from the core of our heart, at the same moment we will get it and that is the real way to control the mind." His answer blew my mind completely. I did not have so much association with Mahārāja and I am unfortunate. But I have some friends who are disciples of Śrīla Mahārāja and I also very much appreciate all his writings and books and especially his kīrtanas changed my life.
So, I am very happy that you have given me a chance to at least to glorify him and like he always says, to purify my own mind. I am also using this opportunity to think of his lotus feet. There is nothing we give to such a guru. One word of Gurudeva is so valuable that even if you take the wealth of the whole universe, it is nothing compared to one word of Gurudeva. I don’t know what I can give to Śrīla Mahārāja and I am just very, very grateful to have had that little bit of association. Śrīla Mahārāja blessed me after his darśana and then I met my Gurudeva and joined the temple. I went to India immediately after that. And we came for the last Vyasa-puja of Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja and that time when I came to India there were so many sannyāsīs and so many Vaiṣṇavas. But the only one whom I knew was Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja because I have seen him in Vienna. So when I came here and saw him in the corridor taking darśana of Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Mahārāja, I was so happy, thinking I know one Vaiṣṇava at least and that was our Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja. So after that, he came two more times more to Vienna and then he stopped. The preaching is in his books now.
—Śrīla Bhakti Sundara Sādhu Mahārāja
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