Just by Remembering Him, One Becomes Free From Millions of Births
I offer my humble obeisances to my dīkṣā guru Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Svāmī Prabhupāda, my Śikṣā-gurus, Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Nārāyaṇa Gosvāmī Mahārāja, Śrīla Bhakti Vijñāna Bhāratī Gosvāmī Mahārāja, and especially Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja on the 100th anniversary of his very glorious divine appearance day.
Actually, in the face of you all who had so much association with Śrīla Mahārāja, I feel quite a nobody. I begin remembering Śrīla Narottama Dāsa Ṭhākura’s kīrtana, being ready to jump into the fire or bang his head against a stone because he missed out on the association of Mahāprabhu and His associates. One of the most glorious associates of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu is your Guru Mahārāja, Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja. By my misfortune, I only was able to have physical association of him in his last couple of years, and in that, he was very merciful to me in the last couple of years in his Kolkata Sree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha.
At that time, he was walking very slowly, he was quite gaunt, (might be he was in his 90s at that time) and I remember that his disciples were so enthusiastic to serve him that it reminded me of Vaikuṇṭha. In the third canto, there is a description of how even the Goddess of Fortune will clean everywhere even though there was no need to clean. The disciples would clean every stair and it was just amazing. They were all over, making sure everything was spic and span for their glorious Gurudeva.
Then every day he was followed by a big line of disciples from around the world I remember there was a thin hallway around the edge of the maṭha and everyday he would approach Tulasī Devi in the corner. And without touching her, he just kind of massages her all around her on the front and back and all sides repeatedly; I don’t know how many times. And I could only guess what was going on in his mind knowing that Tulasī Devi is Vṛndā Devi and my mind was shocked that he must be remembering all the pastimes that are facilitated by the divine choreographer Vṛndā Devi in Goloka Vṛndāvana.
I remember at that time that Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja wasn’t speaking much and he was mainly in his own quarters. But everybody went to his darśana or walked up to him and got sweets. Śrīla Bharati Mahārāja also always used to give prasādam. It could be a banana, some sweet, or it could be some homemade thing, but even when he wasn’t giving classes, he would always give prasādam.
So one day I asked Śrīla Bharati Mahārāja "What are you doing when you are distributing prasādam?" He did not answer and I thought maybe he does not understand my English. So I asked Sundara Gopāla Prabhu to translate for me. Still, he did not answer. Then all of a sudden some twenty devotees walked in and then he spoke as if he wanted to make sure it was a public answer. He said, "I was asked what I am doing when I am giving prasādam. I am taking away all your anarthas and giving kṛṣṇa-prema." So amazing. So that was what happened every evening when we would go up to Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja for prasādam. I know that the same answer that I got from Śrīla Bharati Mahārāja applies to what was happening with Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja.
Mahārāja also explained that only when a pure devotee is giving prasādam, whether or not it was formally offered to Kṛṣṇa with mantras and everything. If you do that you offer the formal mantras and go near the altar and all that, you still don’t know if Kṛṣṇa has eaten it. But when a pure devotee hands prasādam, you know Kṛṣṇa has eaten it even if it wasn’t offered to him, it was just handed to the pure devotee. So that was happening to us every evening and I am so grateful to Sundara Gopāla Prabhu for being my friend and always being there and helping me. He encouraged me one day to bring my big art posters. One was of Prema Samput and another was of Śrī Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. The only thing I remember is that these are very sacred and should not be in a place or hung in a place where they can be disrespected because They are God Himself. I was grateful for hearing that.
Sundara Gopāla Prabhu wants me to repeat something I said last year. I learnt this from my Śikṣā-guru, Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Nārāyaṇa Gosvāmī Mahārāja whom I used to see so intimately meeting with your Guru Mahārāja at Yogapīṭha, particularly in Navadvip. Every Gaura Pūrṇimā they would sit together and gaze at each other with so much love and share the hari-kathā. So, one thing I learned from him is that when we are reading any book, we do not read the book but rather we put the book on our head and on our heart and we pray to that book “Oh Prabhu, You are not a book. You are independent of that book, you are that person. So, in this case, like so many times in the year, I am fortunate to engage the devotees in our temple and associate with him by reading from his book ‘Śrī Caitanya: His Life and Associates."
Mahāprabhu is unlimited, He is eternal, and just by remembering Him, one becomes free from millions of births of sinful activities and that results in transcendental devotional pious merits. One gets free from lust, anger, grief, pride, illusion and envy. In the beginning of this book, Śrīla Puri Mahārāja gave so much encouragement to him. Devotees don’t need encouragement, but still, the human-like pastimes of the Lord are shown to us in how one pure devotee will encourage another pure devotee to make something happen. Just like after killing the Keśī demon, Nārada Muni told Kṛṣṇa, "Okay, so you are having a great time with the gopis. Now It is time to go to Maṭhura and Dwārakā, kill Kaṁsā, and marry all the queens." Of course, there was no need for Kṛṣṇa to say thank you. All blessings were there and then He made arrangements to leave. Similarly with Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja.
They [Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja and Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja] are both maidservants in the spiritual world). Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja was encouraged to continue writing this book which first came in the form of articles in the glorious magazine "Śrī Caitanya Vani" Again I believe Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Sarasvatī Gosvāmī appointed Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja as the head of the Magazine who released a series of articles in Śrī Caitanya Vani magazine and then finally became this book. So we pray to him, "Oh Prabhu, you are not a book. You are Śrīla Mahārāja Yourself and you are the embodiment, just like your Param Gurudeva Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Sarasvatī Gosvāmī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda. He is called Sarasvatī because he is the embodiment of all vidyā, of all Parāvidyā, of all the Vedās, and all the pure devotees who came before him. You take all that and make a shape and that is his Param Gurudeva Śrīla Prabhupāda. Similarly with him, he goes with him being an eternal associate. He is the embodiment of his Param Gurudeva, his Gurudeva Śrīla Bhakti Dayita Madhava Gosvāmī Mahārāja, whose glories are unlimited. And we had the fortune (we still have the fortune) to read regularly from Śrīla Bhakti Vijñāna Bhāratī Gosvāmī Mahārāja's book "Volcanic Energy."
So, we pray that you are not the book, you are yourself Śrīla Mahārāja, the embodiment of all what to speak of vidyā, of Parāvidyā of Divya Sarasvatī. When we say Jai Śrī Śrī Guru Gauranga, so Guru, to that Guru, and Śrī means when you go to the biggest number like one to nine and nine is the biggest number and when you chant ten, one and zero. So, 108, you are the embodiment of all Śrīs. Śrī is a mystical power of spiritual perfections, and the actual heart of Śrīmati Rādhārāṇī that came to this world, and śriyā we know in terms of Lord Caitanya’s gift which means treasure, we know that He came to give which no other incarnation gave before and not give again until He comes back the next time and gives that, to which we have to give little thought.
So, bhakti, śrīya is that hidden treasure, in other words, She who nourishes all the pastimes of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa in the kuñja. Without taking shelter of such a pure maidservant of Śrīmati Rādhārāṇī, no one can enter that pinnacle of devotion. So you are non-different from yourself. You are yourself, you are not a book. Yourself, you are the embodiment of all the scriptures, you are the embodiment of all the pure gurus who have come before you in that shape and therefore you are all the devotees who are present in your glorious book "Śrī Caitanya: His Life and His Associates"— they are all actually there in your book, just by remembering their names, what to speak of remembering their glories.
The other day we were reading about Śrīla Śyāmānanda Prabhu, as it was his appearance day. Every single thing that Śrīla Mahārāja said, spoke of Śrīla Śyāmānanda Prabhu, everything has been confirmed in such and such a book and then he quotes the thing in the book. What tremendous research. On one hand, the pure devotee does not have to research because everything flows one after the other like a waterfall in his heart. But still, we have to say in all honesty that they all do so much research. Even Caitanya Mahāprabhu, every time he says something he quotes someone. In Śrīla Mahārāja, this is confirmed in the rāgānuga-bhajana, this is confirmed in Śrīmad Bhāgavatam and this is confirmed in Caitanya-bhagavat and this is confirmed in Caitanya-caritāmṛta. So I feel like I am getting everything when I am reading this book.
I am sure all of you have some personal experiences. But for me when I saw him in those last year or two... I am sure you have seen that video when he comes into his Guru Mahārāja’s quarters and then puts his hands and arms all over the bed and you know you could visibly see the barrage of tears, the flow, the waterfall of tears coming down, the whimpering coming from his voice also. So I also had the opportunity to witness his coming in every day to his Guru Mahārāja’s quarters and then I am always remembering how he sang with a most expressive arrangement of words, how he shaped his words, and his chanting of Hare Kṛṣṇa was such ecstatic joy, like he opened his mouth so wide and looked up in the air. And the I saw him in his last few months when it was Prahlād Prabhu and one other devotee pushing him in the wheelchair. And his mouth was just wide open with a cloth over it. But he was constantly chanting japa and I knew that he was chanting in that beautiful way internally with all the expressions. So on one hand I am just sorry that I missed having the years of association that I did not have, and pray to have his association life after life and I beg him to forgive any of my mistakes or offenses. And thank you very much for your association and this opportunity to glorify him to purify my tongue.
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