He Arranges Everything That is Needed

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Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tirtha Mahārāja was visiting the Lakṣmī Nārāyaṇa temple in Kuala Lumpur. Some devotees organized a program for him. He was elderly and we didn't see anything special. He gave hari-kathā that was very soft. However, when he did kīrtan, it was very loud. None of us could dance like him in front of the deity.

In 2010, my Gurudeva left for his eternal abode at the end of December. The following Gaura Purnima, I was going to Navadvīpa. 

One of my godbrothers had come to Malaysia for his visa and said, "When you go for parikramā, you must go to see Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tirtha Mahārāja." He emphasized the word “must." 

When I was in Māyāpur, I visited the maṭha one day and asked if I could have darśana of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja. The devotee refused and said I could get darśana at 8pm. I could not come back again, so I was disappointed.

Then, one of Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tirtha Mahārāja's disciples, Rādhāmādhava Dāsa, came to Malaysia. He gave a hari-kathā and glorified Mahārāja. I went to stay in the Kolkata maṭha for some time shortly after that.

At that time, Mahārāja was very guarded; it was not easy to get close to him. Due to a feeling of duplicity in myself, I have never been one to ask questions directly to a sādhu. Mahārāja was always very concerned about people. 

He would often say, "You are not from India, how are you doing?"

He makes things very easy for me. I am a very complicated person. He makes things very easy for me.

He said, "Don't try to jump. Due to all your conditioning from all your lives, it will take some time. Don't be discouraged."He gave me a lot of consolation that I'm doing okay.

I feel that I'm at home when I visit Mahārāja. Sometimes when I am away and come back, I feel that I am at home. I feel that it is my Guru Mahārāja, Bhaktivedānta Nārāyaṇa Mahārāja, who directed me here. He knows all of my qualities. He is a strict disciplinarian, but he knows I cannot handle all that.

If I had just paid obeisances at the maṭha and come from Navadvīpa, that would have been the end of that, but Gurudeva sent his disciple who told all the qualities of Gurudeva to me, so I came. Gurudeva knows all the qualities and what is needed, so he arranges it.

—Chandrika Dāsi, Malaysia



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