His Shelter is Our Greatest Fortune

guru, vaiṣṇava, bhagavān, — tinera smaraṇa

tinera smaraṇe haya vighna-vināśana

anāyāse haya nija vāñchita-pūraṇa

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Ādi 1.20-21)

How did a person like me get the fortune of attaining the shelter of the lotus feet of our Gurujī, a pure Vaiṣṇava? No one in our village nor our family has attained the shelter of a pure vaiṣṇava like I did. I had no strength of piety, knowledge, or austerities; it was only by Gurujī's causeless mercy that I attained his shelter. There are many sādhus (gosāis) in Assam who give mantras but lack good conduct. 

My elder brother was living in the railway quarters in Guwahati and during my holidays, I went from Medhnipur to Guwahati. I had not studied much up until that point. As I was wandering around, I came across our Sree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha which is near my brother's quarters. I entered slowly and found vaiṣṇavas performing arāti-kirtan. I had only heard about the Ramakṛṣṇa Mission and Bharat-sevā saṁhiti but had not seen Gauḍīya-vaiṣṇavas. 

I learned from the maṭhvāsīs that they follow vaiṣṇava-dharma. I wondered what happiness they could find living in the maṭha as ascetics after they had given up their parents and family life. I thought I am happy at home; we celebrate my brothers and sisters getting married, and there are festive times also like Durgā-pūjā. Still, I started attending morning maṅgalārati and sat for kathā in the evenings.

Maṅgala Mahārāja was the Maṭha-in-charge then and his kathā was very good, second only to Gurujī. He was such an outstanding personality that many educated and highly literate people came to listen when he spoke. Although initially, I could not understand much, slowly I was able to comprehend more and began to appreciate the hari-kathā; I would not miss a single day. 

Maṅgala Mahārāja and about thirty others at the maṭha including sannyāsīs and brahmacārīs, saw me coming regularly. When they advised me to join the maṭha, I thought what is in the maṭha? I am very happy at home. If their words were so strong, I thought, how would their Gurujī's words be? I asked them, "When is your Gurujī coming?" When they explained that he would come in February during the annual functions of the maṭha, I felt a keen desire to meet him. 

Then Param Gurudeva arrived with the prachar party. I offered him praṇām following other devotees after ārati and he came to the naṭamaṃdira and gave hari-kathā. He spoke Bangla and I could not understand much except the praṇām-mantras he chanted. Param Gurudeva then announced that the Secretary of our Maṭha, Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Mahārāja will speak hari-kathā. When Gurujī stood up, he quoted a verse from Subhāṣitam [Hitopadeśa]: dharmeṇa hīna paśubhiḥ samānāḥ, meaning without dharma, human beings are like animals. 

I thought this mahātmā was sitting quietly all this time and now he is giving such a powerful speech like a lion. He said that without hari-bhajan, human life is like that of an animal. Then I thought what is the use of listening to all this if I do not apply it in my life? Then I desired to take initiation and heard the rules and regulations to be followed regarding food and conduct but wondered how could I eat rice without fish as that was an everyday affair in our house.  

One day I was in the maṭha early morning and found Nārāyaṇa Mahārāja taking the breakfast plate of Param Gurudeva for wash, I asked him for prasādam. He gave me the plate, but I found it so empty and clean and could not even make out what breakfast was served to Param Gurudeva. But still, I had a drop of it in my mouth. Subsequently, I found that my taste for fish-eating vanished and I would secretly throw away the fish from my plate so that my mother would not know. Then in the maṭha I heard the following verse in hari-kathā:  

bhakta-pada-dhūli āra bhakta-pada-jala

bhakta-bhukta-avaśeṣa, — tina mahā-bala 

(Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya, 16.60)

"The dust of the feet of a devotee, the water that has washed the feet of a devotee, and the remnants of food left by a devotee are three very powerful substances."

Then I realized this is the result of my honoring Param Gurudeva's remnant prasādam.  

Thinking I cannot practice bhajan at home, I moved to the maṭha. The first darśana I had of Param Gurudeva was in February and then I joined the maṭha in June; eagerly waiting for the following February to take mantra from him. Meanwhile, Param Gurudeva made the pastimes of sickness and disappeared. I felt very disappointed thinking how unfortunate I am. But then in March, I was sent to Kolkata and I got initiated by Gurujī. I served in Guwahati for about five years after which I was sent to Agartala. 

From Agartala, Gurujī took me into his service. I have no internal realizations nor experiences, I have only seen him externally, but I say it is very rare to get such an Ācārya. He has been adorned with all twenty-six qualities of vaiṣṇavas that the scripture sings, such as kṛpālu, akṛta-drohaḥ, satya-sāraḥ, samaḥ, etc. His conduct was just like Mahāprabhu. Sādhu-vaishnava is very, very rare in this material world, and to have their darśana is also extremely rare. 

Even by my external vision, I found him sarva-guṇa-sampannā all twenty-six qualities were manifest in him. He had great tolerance and would never order anyone for sevā. When Guru Mahārāja would quietly go to the kitchen to clean vessels, I felt ashamed when I followed him and saw him doing this; at the same time felt afraid to come before him. His mood was it is my Gurudeva's sevā, all sevā is my responsibility and if someone helps me I should be grateful to them. I quietly told Paresh Prabhu about Gurudeva's activities and he told him convincingly that we will do the work, persuading him to return to his room. As we have heard in Caitanya-caritāmṛta about Mahāprabhu's conduct, the same conduct is seen in our Gurudeva.  

Śrīla Gurudeva would never leave prasādam on his plate; if offered more, he would ask me to bring another plate and transfer it. He would also say that sannyāsīs should not leave any remnants on his plate. Whatever little I could gather, I would add it to the remaining food prepared for him and distribute it as mahāprasādam.  

His conduct was so pure that no one can find any fault in it. We may find some flaws in the moon, some black spots, but there is absolutely no fault in our Gurudeva. He is niṣkalaṅka, faultless and pure. His tolerance was like that of Prahlāda Mahārāja or even more because Prahlāda was troubled only by his father, but for our Gurujī, he had to face a variety of troubles from all four directions especially in the first ten years after Param Gurudeva's disappearance. His tolerance was incredible, beyond imagination. 

yasyāsti bhaktir bhagavaty akiñcanā 

sarvair guṇais tatra samāsate surāḥ 

(Śrīmad Bhagavatam, 5.18.12)

"One who has unflinching devotion to Supreme Lord has all the good qualities of Kṛṣṇa and demigods manifested in him, and in one who is devoid of such devotion to Supreme Lord, these qualities cannot appear.

I have no qualifications to be seen by Gurujī or to serve him, but I still feel very fortunate to get his association. There is no other support in this Kali-yuga to cross over the material ocean other than the shelter of the lotus feet of a pure vaiṣṇava. I am very happy that I got such shelter. As long as I live, as long as I can serve, I will serve, but I seek blessings of vaiṣṇavas for this.  

Our Gurujī was so surrendered to Param Gurudeva and dedicated himself fully to rescuing Prabhupāda's birthplace and the construction of our Puri maṭha. Pūjyapāda Bhakti Sundar Sagar Mahārāja of Udala (Ācārya of Parampūjyapāda Parvat Mahārāja's maṭha), had written a letter to me that said, "It is nearly impossible to find such guru-niṣṭhā of your Gurujī in anybody else." He narrated one instance to me and told me that you cannot even imagine how your Gurujī has served Param Gurudeva. Who else would Param Gurudeva have made his successor-ācārya? Gurujī was guru-gata-prāṇ, he followed his Gurudeva's orders so sincerely. If we do not follow the orders of Gurudeva and we go to hell, it will not be good for us, and if we do not follow Gurujī's orders and still go to heaven we will never be happy there. We have to serve Gurujī like he served his Gurudeva and his Gurudeva's institution his whole life.

He was deputed to serve in Suvarṇa Vihar along with two more sevāks. But both the sevāks soon returned to Śrī Caitanya Maṭha for treatment after a piece of glass pierced one sevāk's foot and another had a stomach problem. Gurujī had to do all services alone, cleaning both inside and outside the temple, preparing bhoga for Thakurjī using dry banana leaves as no firewood was available, he also performed puja and everything else. The place was deserted; there were no residences nearby, and it was frequented by wild animals and beasts like cats and dogs during the day and jackals in the night. I heard this from Gurujī himself. Now it is easy for us as we use a gas stove for cooking, but it was not like that then. 

Gurujī was a Postgraduate (MA) and had got an appointment letter for the post of District Magistrate, but leaving that he came to lotus feet of his Gurudeva. This was spoken by Pūjyapāda Bhakti Niketana Turyāśramī  Mahārāja in his kathā in Goalpara. A foolish person like me will think I am educated, I will get a job, I can marry and live with my wife and children in a nice house, why will I go to serve in the maṭha in such conditions? 

Like Guru, like disciple. A sad-guru is at the outset a sat-śiṣya. Without becoming sat-śiṣya (perfect disciple) one cannot become sad-guru. The conduct of a sat-śiṣya is that he will be standing in anticipation of Gurudeva's orders and he will act according to the orders. Our Gurujī's conduct was like this. I was fortunate to serve Gurujī for thirty-eight years, but I associated with him just outwardly and served only externally; so I have no experience or realizations.  

In this kali-yuga, in this brahmāṇḍa, it is our Gurudeva's lotus feet which are ashoka-abhaya and amrita-adhar. They are the only shelter that can take us to Lord's abode, give us His darśana, His service, liberate us from this miserable material world, bestow happiness, fearlessness, and eternality. Those who have taken shelter, mantra from him, he will bring all of us reach Goloka-dhama. Such great shelter is not ordinary—the shelter of a pure vaiṣṇava. 

Who is guru, where does guru come from? To liberate us, he descends from Goloka and takes us there. He is sent by the Lord Himself and thus appeared here on Śrī Rāmanavamī-tithi giving us the shelter of his lotus feet. What can be more auspicious, more happy than this for us? I cannot become his disciple, but he is Patitapāvana, redeemer of the fallen, so he is naturally very merciful. I have no qualification whatsoever to make him grace me; by his causeless mercy, he has graced me, given me mantra, and engaged me in sevā. 

In this life, I am fortunate to have darśana of a śuddha-vaiṣṇava and also got the association of vaiṣṇavas like you by the Lord's grace. I do not know whether I will get such association and mercy in my next life. With all your blessings, may I continue to live for some more years and serve this most glorious, holy place of Jagadiśa Paṇḍita [Chakdaha] where Lord Jagannātha Himself came from Puri-dhāma. Gurudeva bestowed this service on me. I seek his mercy and your blessings to serve sincerely.

—Śrīla Bhakti Priya Bhajanomukha Mahārāja 

[After Mahārāja  spoke, Sri Rasabihari Prabhu added]:

When Bhajanomukha Mahārāja (then Śacīnandana Prabhu) was serving Gurudeva he used to stay in a room on the 3rd floor of Kolkata maṭha and when required, Gurudeva would go upstairs to his room to give him some instructions.  I got a calling bell fixed in Gurudev's room so that he can call Prabhu to his room easily. 

After one year I was surprised to know from Śacīnandana Prabhu that Gurudev never used the calling bell. When I asked Gurudev about this, he said, "It is not good to call vaiṣṇavas by using the calling bell." Another day Gurudev placed a book on the calling bell and it rang so long that all of the maṭhvāsīs came running to see what happened. Gurujī asked why all of you are here. They said, the bell rang.  And he said I did not ring the bell.  He had just placed a book over the bell which was on his table and it rang.  Such sweet pastimes of Gurujī.  He never ordered anyone, anytime, including me.  I pray for your blessings so that I also become fortunate to serve Gurudev sometime like you did.  

spoken in Hindi, translated to English 

date: 5.4.2020 

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