How Can We Learn to Speak and Listen to Gurudeva?

How can we learn to speak and listen to Gurudeva? In Bhagavad-gita it says:

tad viddhi praṇipātena
paripraśnena sevayā
upadekṣyanti te jñānaṁ
jñāninas tattva-darśinaḥ

(BG, 4.34)

Translation: Just try to learn the truth by approaching a spiritual master. Inquire from him submissively and render service unto him. The self-realized souls can impart knowledge unto you because they have seen the truth.*

Praṇipāta is offering prāṇam in a surrendered mood. Paripraśna questions should be posed for our eternal welfare, ātyantika-śreya. Questions should be asked as Śaunakādi Ṛṣi and Parīkṣit Mahārāj did. Śrī Rāmānujācārya asked his disciple, how far is death?  The disciple replied that we sleep in the night and do not know whether we will get up in the morning.  But Śrī Rāmānujā said this is very far,  but death can be very near. Actually, we are not sure whether we will take our next breath. 

Pūjyapāda Bhakti Hṛday Bon Mahārāj went to hear hari-kathā and have darśan of Prabhupād at Ultadanga Road on the pretext of getting medicine for his sick father. He listened while Prabhupād spoke on this verse:

labdhvā su-durlabham idaṁ bahu-sambhavānte
ānuṣyam artha-dam anityam apīha dhīraḥ
tūrṇaṁ yateta na pated anu-mṛtyu yāvan
niḥśreyasāya viṣayaḥ khalu sarvataḥ syāt
 

(SB, 11.9.29) 

Translation: After many, many births and deaths one achieves the rare human form of life, which, although temporary, affords one the opportunity to attain the highest perfection. Thus a sober human being should quickly endeavor for the ultimate perfection of life as long as his body, which is always subject to death, has not fallen down and died. After all, sense gratification is available even in the most abominable species of life, whereas Kṛṣṇa consciousness is possible only for a human being.*

While looking at Bon Mahārāj, he told him to start bhajan immediately. When he asked if he could go home to give medicine for my father, Prabhupād asked, "What if your death occurs before you reach?" He stopped him from going home. Then he asked, "What if our house burns?" Prabhupād said, "Let it burn! What does it matter if If our neighborhood, the whole country, or even the universe is burning? 

brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā
na śocati na kāṅkṣati
samaḥ sarveṣu bhūteṣu
mad-bhaktiṁ labhate parām

(BG, 18.54)

Translation: One who is thus transcendentally situated at once realizes the Supreme Brahman and becomes fully joyful. He never laments or desires to have anything. He is equally disposed toward every living entity. In that state, he attains pure devotional service unto Me.*

nainaṁ chindanti śastrāṇi
nainaṁ dahati pāvakaḥ
na cainaṁ kledayanty āpo
na śoṣayati mārutaḥ

(BG, 2.23)

Translation: The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon, nor burned by fire, nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind.*

Bon Mahārāj joined maṭh and he was sent to Germany and learned German in one year. He spoke hari-kathā and established a maṭh there, made disciples, and brought two of them to Prabhupād.  
So what should be our question to Gurudev about saṁsār?  Our questions should be like asked as Parīkṣit Mahārāj and Arjuna did. Once a devotee complained to Gurudeva that she was very distressed and unhappy and her husband was very troubling to her. 

Gurudeva asked her, "Did he push you in fire, did he push you from a hilltop? Did he drown you in water? No. It is not proper to speak ill of your husband. Saṁsār is dāvānala, (forest fire) so how can you try to eradicate unhappiness while living in saṁsār? Can you put your hand in the fire without it burning? You are wasting my time and your time." 

We should learn how to pose questions. Parīkṣit Mahārāj had just seven days left and asked what sādhana can I do to free myself from the sinful reaction? What should I listen to, what should I speak? What I should not do?  What is the ātyantika-śreya for a jiva?  

Upaniṣad says the jiva has two paths to follow: one is śreya mārga and one preya mārga. Preya mārga is a pleasing path but full of difficulties; troubles come, and one has to take birth again and again.  Another is śreya mārga, it is apavarga, free from difficulties, and the most auspicious path.  Where atma's prasannatā (purity, brightness) and Lord's prasannatā are present, that is śreya path. That is performing hari-bhajan. 
 
You ask and you will get the answer.  You go to the doctor and do not tell your symptoms how can the doctor treat you?  Parīkṣit Mahārāj heard kathā with full attention and asked questions appropriate to remove his doubts. Arjuna and Sanātana Goswami asked, who am I?  why I am afflicted by threefold afflictions?  Ask like this. We should know what questions to ask and sadguru will give you the right answer according to śāstra.  

We have to learn how to question and place questions before saints who can give you the right answer.  

—Śrīla Bhakti Kuśal Padmanābha Maharaj

spoken in Hindi, translated to English
excerpted from a hari-kathā in Mumbai, 21.1.2021 (morning)

*translation from A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami (BBT)