He Dwells Inside Our Hearts

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I had my first darśan of Gurujī in Chandigarh maṭh. My grandmother's house is in Chandigarh and I had heard that the evening ārati in the Śrī Rādhākṛṣṇa mandir in Sector B was splendid. During my holidays whenever I was in my grandmother's place I used to visit there with my friends. My first darśan of Gurujī was there in 2010 when I was completing my degree. One Sunday afternoon Kṛṣṇa das prabhu offered to take me for Gurujī's darśan. I had heard from my grandfather that when we go for darśan of saints and elders, we should not go empty-handed, so I asked Kṛṣṇa das prabhujī what Gurujī likes and went with some packets of Marie Gold biscuits to offer to him. When I offered pranāms and offered him the biscuits, he asked, "How did you know that I eat this?" I said, "Kṛṣṇa das prabhujī told me." He gave prasādam and offering pranāms, we came out. I did not speak anything much with him.

After that, my visits to the maṭh became regular and I started following the rules and regulations including giving up eating onion and garlic. Simultaneously I got admission for M.Tech in Kurukshetra. I learned from Aditi didi in the maṭh that there is Vyāsa Gauḍīya Maṭh at Brahma Sarovar established by Śrīla Prabhupād where Śrī Śrī Guru Gauranga Rādhā Vinodjī are worshipped. She suggested I can enquire there for prasādam arrangement.

I enquired from the pūjārī there about it on my first visit and he said there is no such facility there. The next evening when I went again for darśan of the deities at the maṭh, the maṭh-rakṣak spoke with me and I told him as I stay in the hostel I would need only some vegetable curry in the evenings and I could make roṭī and in the morning, I would manage with milk and fruits. He told that if I left my tiffin box there, they would keep whatever remnants remained after vaiṣṇavas finished prasādam. I was very surprised that I was turned down the first day and the next day this welcome change came. I accepted this as Gurujī's arrangement for me.

In 2013 when I was in Mayapur I got my hāriṇam-dīkṣā from Gurujī just before his sickness pastimes. Śrīla Ācārya Mahārāj spoke about all the instructions and we were told to offer pranāms to Gurujī, receive the mala from his hands, and leave. Prahlad Prabhu would hand over the Sādhan Sanket booklet and photographs of Gurudev and the deities. We were going in one by one and I was the last in our group because I had a desire in my heart that Gurujī would speak something special to me; exclusively meant for me. When my turn came, I saw Gurujī smiling sweetly as he was handing over the japamala to me. Then he touched my cheek and said, "I am giving you Śrī Rādhākṛṣṇa, take good care of them." Hearing his words, my eyes filled with tears and realized Gurujī is antaryāmī, the in-dweller of hearts.

Once my Grandfather related this verse and explained the real inner meaning of this prayer:

gurur brahmā gurur viṣṇur gurur devo maheśvaraḥ

guruḥ sākṣāt paraṁ brahma tasmai śrī gurave namaḥ

He explained that guru takes the form of Rudra first destroys all bad qualities, defects, and concepts non-conducive to devotional practice from the heart of a satśiṣya (true disciple). Then as Brahma the creator, he plants the seed of devotion in the heart by giving hāriṇam and as Viṣṇu he nourishes and grows that seed by purifying our thoughts and actions by instructions while chastising as needed. Later on, hearing Gurujī's audio and video kathā I realized that it is Gurujī's glory that by his grace, he turns his real disciple turn toward the Lord and the Lord's service. He does everything.

By Gurujī's grace, I got the opportunity in Chandigarh of assisting Śrī Śrī Radha Madhavjī's pūjārījī in service. During Śrī Rāma-navamī, some of our godbrothers would go to Kolkata for Gurujī's darśan and when they came back, I listened about their experiences. I also desired to have personal darśan of Gurujī on Śrī Rāma-navamī. And in 2017 Rāma-navamī (after Gurujī's disappearance), I felt Gurujī's presence in Chandigarh maṭh. During ārati time as I was assisting Pūjārījī, I saw Gurujī sitting on a seat with a smiling face on one side and on another side his photograph being worshiped and offered bhog. Seeing this vision, my eyes filled with tears.

It is only by Gurujī's grace that I got a desire in Chandigarh for Gurujī's darśan in the first place. Then I received hāriṇam, dīkṣā, vaiṣṇava-sevā, and kitchen sevā, too. My prayers to Gurujī and all of you that I continue always in sevā and remembrance of Guru, Vaiṣṇava, and Bhagavan like this.

 —Sahdev Das, (Kangra, Himachal Pradesh)

Translation from Hindi to English by Rasbihari Prabhu







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