Experiencing His Divine Grace From Childhood

I was residing in Simla and my father was in Chandigarh.  From the time of my childhood, I have always seen my father worshiping Gurudeva and Ṭhākurjī. My parents are disciples of Param Gurudev.  We children grew up seeing Gurudev. We would go on parikramā since childhood and although I do not know much about Gurudev, I had deep love and regard for him that continues now. 

In the later years when I was in school, my father started inviting Gurudev to Simla for programs. The temple where Gurudev used to stay was far away from our home. After school, my sister and I would go directly to the temple where Gurujī's programs were held.  My mother was a teacher and after school, she would come to the temple directly. At that time I was unable to understand Gurujī's kathā much, but I would just sit there and gaze at him. After kathā, I would go along with my siblings to his room and accept prasād from his hands. We'd stay until about none or ten in the evening and then started the walk home with our parents which took about forty-five minutes.

I used to go so casually into his room and ask him when he would visit our home for prasād.  He would smile and say, "I will come, but I have to walk a long way to your home." I would reply, "Even so, you have to come."  Then along with Gurujī, Bhārati Mahārāj jī, Nishkinchan Mahārāj jī, and Puri Mahārāj jī would all come there.  Gurujī spoke kathā and many neighbors would come. When Gurujī would distribute prasād, I would sit in front of him and ask for prasād. 

I have no memory of having a darśan of Param Gurudev, but my mother said that my sister and brother did Vraja-mandala parikramā with Param Gurudev. Whenever my father took me for Vraja-maṇḍala parikramā, he would say that Gurujī walks barefoot during parikramā so we should do the same; he never allowed us to wear chappals (shoes). I also remember how Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāj would call me Lali. I consider it his grace that he walked beside me keeping his hand on my shoulder for some time.  

In the evening when we all have returned from the parikramā, I would go and ask Gurujī where we would be going the next day on parikramā and I would inform one and all about the next day's places of darśan. Like this, I remember many instances about Gurujī. 

After a long gap whenever Gurujī would come to Chandigarh I would surely go to visit him from Simla. Devotees would line up for his darśan and as I was in hurry to return back home I would tell Gurujī's sevāk to inform Gurujī that Simla's Shakti Prabhu's daughter Bhanu has come and I would get immediate entry to Gurujī's room. Gurujī would smile and ask me how I was doing. I would simply sit in front of him with eyes full of tears and no words would come out of my mouth. He would give me some prasād and then I would sit for a while at his feet and then return home.  

Though I remember him always, whenever I was in difficulty and I sincerely prayed to him I found him always with me, always guiding me.  

A few years back after returning from Mayapur parikramā I fell seriously ill and my condition became very critical. Doctors told my family that the next 48 hours were critical for survival. I underwent major surgery. Due to severe physical pain, I grew very weak and was not able to bear the pain. I would always remember and pray to Gurujī. 

On one of those days, I had a dream where I saw Gurujī come down the steps of Kolkata maṭh and touch my head, assuring me that everything will be alright. After one and a half months stay in the hospital, I had another surgery. My health picked up slowly and now I have fully recovered all by Gurujī's mercy. People around me say Gurujī has saved you. Whenever I am in difficulty, I remember Gurujī and he has always given me his love and guidance and has kept me well.  

—Bhanu Priya Devi Dasi (Chandigarh)

audio source: GOKUL India

translation from Hindi to English