He Listens To Our Prayers

My friend Pankaj Prabhu was instrumental in introducing me to mahāmantra and in his company, I found myself chanting automatically.  Then I began chanting regularly and going to the maṭh, but never had darśan of Gurudev.  When I joined a hotel management course, I got a chance to stay in Māyāpur for ten days during Kartik when Gurudev was there and listen to his hari-kathā. Though I could not understand much I got the association of Prahlad Prabhu. In my hotel management course, I had to cook and taste dishes with onion and garlic, and thinking myself to be very unfortunate that I cannot take hāriṇam, I would feel like crying during maṅgalārati. Someone suggested that I speak to Gurudev, but I did not go to Gurudev at all and I lost the chance.  

One day I heard Gurudev speak kathā in front of Param Gurudev's bhajan kuṭir (Māyāpur) and I was sitting farther away in the natmandir. He was speaking about Śrīla Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur and said this one sentence: "Why did you come here if you have no faith?" I felt he said this to me.  Then I realized Gurudev is all-knowing whether you are surrendered or not, whether you have faith in Gurudev or not, whether you are sitting in America or on a ship, wherever you are sitting— he knows what you are thinking, what your devotional mood is.  

When I had completed my course, Gurudev was playing his sickness pastimes more and more. When my case was presented by Śrī Muni Mahārāj through Damodar Mahārāj with Śrīla Bhakti Vijnana Bharati Mahārāj, he said, “It is most fortunate to take hāriṇam from Gurudev who will make all the necessary arrangements—one should not worry about the future. But I had no clear idea as to what job I would be involved in the ship and how I would cope with it.  However, I gave a strong but false reason to take a break from my training to go for hāriṇam and as I had never been out of the city alone. Gurudev even arranged for one Mātājī to accompany me on a flight who was also taking hāriṇam.

It is Gurudev's mercy that the ship's captain was so accommodating with me that he never forced me to cook or taste onion or garlic.  I would just do some vegetable cutting and cleaning.  Once I had spoken some glories of Param Gurudev that after his kathā, out of gratitude and humility would ask the host who gave him a chance to speak hari-kathā how he can serve them. Impressed very much by hearing this, the captain and others would ask me to speak glories of Gurudev and Param Gurudev. Gurudev gave such a wonderful service engagement for me on the ship. So, I first experienced Gurudev's boundless mercy and then got to hear his glories, pastimes, and impeccable conduct from Śrī Kṛṣṇananda (Kuldeep) Prabhu.  

Once Kalia Prabhu of Mumbai (now abroad) told me that he was detected while copying in his exams and he got afraid that he would be debarred from writing exams. He said, "I raised my hands and remembered Gurudev," and he was then exempted for his mistake. Remembering this incident, I also called to Gurudeva and prayed in the ship, saying, "Gurudev, please help me so that I may keep my ekādaśī vow intact. I have no one here to help me, only you can hear my prayers." I had no mood as such, but I simply prayed and the result was that I would get an intimation in my mind two days in advance before ekādaśī without seeing the calendar.  I was able to keep my vow of ekādaśī on the ship only by Gurudev's grace and would feel he is with me. I also would pray to Gurudev, "May I be with you at the time you are leaving this world and entering nityalīlā." My job on the ship ended and I got a job in Mumbai.  Everything was moving smoothly.  

When going for Gurudev's samādhi, we found difficulty in arranging for tickets mainly due to the lack of surrender mood in me. However, Gurudev showered so much mercy that he not only arranged for necessary funds through a friend but also gave me the chance to stay with him and attend kīrtans. Although my practices of devotion were not good, Gurudev still gave me mercy and fulfilled all my wishes.  

We have heard Mahāprabhu's blessings that all those who participated in Haridas Ṭhākur's antim līlā whether by receiving darśan, participating in kīrtan, or honoring prasad they will attain love for Krishna. In Gurudev's antim līlā, I felt even those who could remember him in those moments but could not come personally for his darśan were also benefitted. Seeing thousands of devotees gathering for darśan and offering praṇāms to Gurudev on his way to Māyāpur I felt I do not deserve to be here, it is only because of the causeless mercy of Gurudev that I am here. I was devoid of feelings that even devotees from abroad felt for Gurudev.  

I never had the opportunity to hear Gurudev's kathā live nor ask him any questions to clarify my doubts. When I hear Kṛṣṇananda Prabhu speak, I feel Gurudev's kathā come alive for me and I ask him my questions and listen to him even though I may not able to follow them strictly.  

I have heard this saying: "gaurara āmi, gourara āmi, mukhē balilē nāhi calē gorara ēchāṛā, gorara bicāra lā'ilē phālē phale." It means by merely saying, "I am Gaura's! I am Gaura's!" does not do. Only when you follow Gaura's practices and Gaura's conception, will you get the proper result.

I pray to you all that whatever gurukathā I am hearing now, may I be able to at least follow one percent of it and Gurudeva be pleased with me by this.  

—Rohnik Prabhu, Mumbai

Transcript of Gurukathā on Gokul India
Spoken in Hindi, translated to English by Rasavihari Das



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