When He Gives An Order, He Also Gives The Inspiration to Carry it Out

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One day I went and offered praṇāms to Gurudev, he gave Śri Śri Caitanya-caritāmṛita in my hands and said, "You can do harikathā." It was a long time ago when I was a young brahmacārī. I said I do not know how to do kathā. Then Gurudev said, 'This is a Bangla grantha, can't you read Bangla? So you read this."

Another time he gave me an order when we were in Jalandhar on pracar. Rasbihari Prabhu had arranged for Gurudev's programs in Jammu, but the first two days overlapped with the programs fixed in Pathankot. 

Gurudev called and told me, "Now you have to go to Jammu with Mishra jī and take along with you Dinabandhu Prabhu for kīrtans. There will be a program for seven days and for two days you have to do kathā and then I will come and continue for the next five days."

I was still a brahmacārī and had never spoken kathā in Hindi in any sabhā; I used to read Bangla scriptures. I started getting heart palpitations. 

We went with Mishrajī to Jammu. Kathā would begin from 8PM following kīrtans. Mishrajī called me to the stage and I went, but within my heart, I was very nervous and thinking why did Gurudev order only me? That time there were other senior vaiṣṇavas present like Purī Mahārāj, Niṣkiñcana Mahārāj, Ācārya Mahārāj, Janārdana Mahārāj, and Yati Mahārāj, and Gurudev sent me to speak before them. In the assembly, Mishrajī was announcing to the audience that I am a very great speaker, very dear to Gurudev, and speak very good kathā when he has not heard any kathā from me, he was simply glorifying me. The hall was full of devotees and my palpitations began. 

When I began with Vandanā, I very sincerely prayed to Gurudev saying, "Gurudev, you have given me orders to speak and now you have to save your honor." I do not know from where I got inspiration and I started speaking on the very first śloka of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam: janmādy asya yataḥ. I knew the śloka and spoke for about an hour before I concluded, but the audience requested, Mahārāj, speak for some more time. They do not know I am just a brahmacārī. Then I spoke further for some fifteen minutes more. The first day was somehow over. 

The second day I again spoke on the same verse. Mishrajī later went in his car to bring Gurudev and others from Pathankot and Gurujī asked him, "How did Acintya Govinda do when he spoke kathā?" Mishrajī told Gurudev that I spoke on the first verse of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam on both the days with so many verses from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Śri Caitanya-caritāmṛita, etc. Gurudev said, "Śloka is pramāṇa. Without śloka, kathā will not have much value and significance; it will not be weighty." Later Mishrajī told me about Gurudev's inquiries and his reply. Thus Gurudev had given me orders to speak harikathā. From then on I am trying to speak kathā.

When I was in Tejpur, Gurudev asked me to go to Jagannath Purī for sevā because the pūjārī there had left his sevā and gone. But Pūjyapāda Bhagavat Mahārāj was not ready to relieve me from Tejpur where I was serving as pūjārī, cooking bhog, and serving cows. He told Gurudev you call for some other sevāk, Acintya Prabhu will not go. Gurujī said, he is a good sevāk, Jagannath Purī is a big maṭh, he is best suited for the sevā there. Then I first came to Kolkata and with Gurudev's blessing went to Jagannath Purī for sevā.

When I was serving in Chakdah Maṭh, I was called by Gurudeva and told that I have to go to Māyāpur maṭh as maṭh-in-charge and manage things there. Then he advised me, "Do not make anyone your enemy there." Such instructions I got from Gurudev and I am trying to follow them.


—Śrila Bhakti Kuśala Padmanābha Mahārāj

10.2.2021, Bangalore

translation from Hindi to English

[Continued from the last post. This is a reply from Śrila Padmanabha Mahārāj after he was asked by a devotee whether he got any such direct instructions (orders) from Śrila Gurudev.]



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