Praying to Remember Him in Times of Difficulty

By
Everybody who joins Mahāprabhu’s movement eventually takes shelter of śri guru. I asked about whose shelter I should take and what are my duties? Devotees told me not to think much, just take shelter and receive initiation from my local temple. It seemed that they did not give it much thought.  In my case, I insisted on seeking the best, topmost spiritual master. 

I went to Śri Rūpa Sanātana Gauḍīya Maṭh in Vṛndāvana. I prayed there to the Lord that I am helpless, please at least let me know whose shelter I should take.  As soon as I paid obeisances and started to leave, a brahmacārī came to me, I did not know him nor did he know me. He said, "You should take initiation. Śrīmad Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāj is a Mahābhāgavat Vaiṣṇava.  

I was very happy, maybe that was Krishna's will. I found a website run by our maṭh.  There I read about the glorification of Gurujī by a prominent vaiṣṇava and I was impressed.  That was the moment when I realized there is no need to waste even a moment and I immediately came to Kolkata to take shelter of Gurujī. Actually, I did not choose my spiritual master, my Gurujī; I do not have any qualification for that.  But Gurudev mercifully chose me. Otherwise, how was it possible that I come to Kolkata from Maharashtra where there is not much preaching by our maṭh?    

There is one incident I want to share when I came to know how merciful Gurudev is to us. I was living with our god-brother at Sukartal.  I had gosevā assigned to me.  One day I was cleaning the shed and removing the cow dung.  Suddenly something bit me.  I thought it must be a mosquito or another insect there as they often came in the evening.

I felt dizzy, my heartbeat was increasing, and I was confused as to what was happening.  I went to my god-brother and told him to check it and he said it was a snake bite. I felt afraid and thought now is the time to die.  Maybe now I should meditate on Lord's pastimes, but I was in shock.  

I thought of this verse:

anta-kāle ca mām eva
smaran muktvā kalevaram
yaḥ prayāti sa mad-bhāvaṁ
yāti nāsty atra saṁśayaḥ

(Bhagavad-gītā, 8.5)

[Translation: And whoever, at the end of his life, quits his body remembering Me alone at once attains My nature.  Of this there is no doubt.]

Remembering this, I tried to meditate on Lord's pastimes but I could not concentrate on it.  Instead, I was wondering what will happen after death, I wished I could live longer; like this many thoughts were coming to my mind instead of Lord's pastimes.  So I started chanting mahāmantra and I found I could not concentrate on even hāriṇam. I thought what shall I do? 

Every day in maṭh I recite Narasiṁhadeva's prayers, so I thought I will pray to Narasiṁha Bhagavan.  I could not do that either and I was tense and confused thinking what will happen if I leave the body without thinking of Kṛṣṇa, what can I do? Then I prayed to Gurujī saying, "Please make me think about you." And by Gurujī's mercy, it happened.  I could constantly concentrate on Gurujī and suddenly I relaxed as if nothing had happened to me.  

Meanwhile, I was taken to the hospital and here I was in bliss. Even if I leave the body it will be good otherwise when will I have the golden opportunity that Gurujī is making me think of him.  But maybe Gurujī had to make me serve more, so he is saving me.  Then I thought if Gurujī has mercifully saved me then it will be right for me to give this life totally in Gurujī's service; it should not be a mistake. 

So, today on the appearance day of Gurujī I pray at his lotus feet from my heart please engage me in your service no matter what and whose service, just make me serve you, I do not have any eligibility, but please be merciful upon me and engage me in your service.    

—Rādhāmohan Das

Spoken in English on 15.4.2019 at Mayapur Maṭh



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"She Has Gone to Goloka-dhāma "

By
Image
Guru Mahārāja is not an ordinary person; he is sent by the Supreme Lord to rescue all of us. In the office, if we are working in one place, we may be deputed to another place to do some work. Similarly, Gurudeva has been deputed from Goloka-dhāma to help us. Guru Mahārāja has come here to fulfill the desire of Hari-Guru-Vaishnavas. In 1997, I received harināma in Gokula-Mahāvana along with my  dharmapatnī , my wife. Guru Mahārāja asked my wife, "If something bad has happened to you, how do you take this? As if Gurudeva is at fault, or as if other persons are at fault?” My wife replied, “Whatever happens, I think it is good for me, by your arrangement.” In 2013, my wife was detected with breast cancer, and later left this world. Some devotees came to the maṭha and gave the news to Gurudeva. Gurudeva replied, "She has gone to Goloka-dhāma." In the hospital, I remember when my wife was in the ICU, and the doctor came and told me, "Your wife is in the fina
Read more

He Accepts Every Circumstance With Utmost Humility

By
Image
I heard something very deep and nice from a devotee that I met in Switzerland. He told me about how he had been staying at a temple there while Guru Mahārāja was visiting.  He said that the maṭha-in-charge expressed his desire that Gurudeva speak about Bhāgavatam. But then an order came that he was not allowed to speak there. In the room where the Bhāgavatam reading was, there was a young boy,. He was maybe only three months in the maṭha and recently came out of a completely material life, eating meat, smoking, etc. Anyway, he was the only one who had permission to speak about Bhāgavatam. And what did Guru Mahārāja do? He entered the room, bowed down to this boy and he sat in front of this boy and listened to his Bhāgavatam reading. This is his humbleness. This is always the way; they teach by example, not by punishing or whatever. When this maṭha-in-charge saw this whole situation, he decided in one moment to leave this institution forever. Although he left that organization, he did
Read more

How Could an Eclipse Be Auspicious?

By
Image
Once I stayed at Kolkata math during a solar eclipse. The devotees closed all the shutters and there was a five-hour kirtan in the temple hall.  Prior to my coming from South India, a good friend of mine, a senior devotee from another saṅgha told me over and over again how inauspicious such an eclipse will be and what negative effects it will bring. I always thought, "My Guru Mahārāj never talks about such things." But since I heard it so many times, I got some doubts and desired Śrila Guru Mahārāj's answer. When I got an opportunity during darśan, I said: "Gurujī, some people say that such an eclipse is inauspicious." Śrila Guru Mahārāj looked at me in utter disbelief about what he had just heard and instantly said, "But it comes from Supreme Lord. How can it be inauspicious?" I was so happy to hear this; inwardly I laughed and thought that's my Guru Mahārāj—always seeing everything in connection to Supreme Lord. —Urmila Dasi
Read more