His Everlasting Presence
I wish to share some of my experiences with those who have met our Gurudev and the vaiṣṇavas in their lives. I had gone to ISKCON in search of a guru I was teaching in ISKCON gurukula. I had a sort of weighing scale fitted in my mind with that torchlight of a little bit of knowledge from the scriptures and I was weighing the things of this world with my material mind and intellect along with that which I heard from vaiṣṇavas. By some grace, I realized this is not the right process and came to accept that only when Lord blesses me, then I will meet with Gurudev. And one fortunate day as I was coming downstairs after taking a class, I met Sri Raseshwar Prabhu, a disciple of Srila Bhakti Pramod Puri Goswami Mahārāj. I had some conversation with him and he told me about Gurudev.
By my good fortune, I learned that Gurudev was to arrive in Delhi before going to Chandigarh Maṭh for the annual function. Along with my god-brother Trivikram das, we went to meet him. The moment we entered his room I was attracted by his warm affectionate smile. This was well before Gurudev's pastimes of sickness. He instantaneously invited us to come to Chandigarh to attend the annual function there.
We had planned to come for just about three days from Vṛndāvana to Delhi before returning. When we arrived in Chandigarh, we saw hundreds of devotees and preparations for the celebrations going on. All of a sudden Gurudev came and stood next to where I was standing. Without any prompting from me, someone handed an umbrella to hold for Gurudev on nagar-sankīrtan. There were hundreds of people around and all of a sudden I got this umbrella sevā. It was Gurudev's power to grace me. I was trying to hold the umbrella to shade Gurudev from the sun as he was moving about, and I was trying to convince myself that I am serving him. But at the same time, so many wonderful waves of emotions were rising in my mind. I was thinking, oh, this is my Gurudev and I am serving him, I am associating with him. I was feeling as though I was drenched in sparkles of light and showers of grace; it was a wonderful experience.
Later I went back to ISKCON again to work as a Manager in the “Food for Life” program and to teach in the gurukula. I had learnt this in ISKCON too that whatever decision we take in life we have to take permission of Gurudev because after hāriṇam dīkṣā we belong to Gurudev and not only our ātmā, our body and all things in relation to the body have become Gurudev's property. Being in Vraja I desired to serve Girirajī, but not before I would consult Gurudev. So I expressed my desire to Gurudev when he came to Vṛndāvana maṭh for an annual function.
Gurudev was very pleased to hear that and not only agreed to it, he also taught me some procedures of sevā. I had heard that Girirajī is very dear to Gurudev, that he took shelter of Girirajī and stayed for some time there when in separation grief on the disappearance of Param Gurudev. But he told me, if you have to leave Vraja or India and go outside, you should not take Girirajī outside Vraja. I had not given much thought to where I will go after leaving Vraja. But the events that would occur in my life prove that Gurudev is antaryāmi (in-dweller of the hearts) and knew my future life and so cautioned me well in advance.
By my good fortune, I learned that Gurudev was to arrive in Delhi before going to Chandigarh Maṭh for the annual function. Along with my god-brother Trivikram das, we went to meet him. The moment we entered his room I was attracted by his warm affectionate smile. This was well before Gurudev's pastimes of sickness. He instantaneously invited us to come to Chandigarh to attend the annual function there.
We had planned to come for just about three days from Vṛndāvana to Delhi before returning. When we arrived in Chandigarh, we saw hundreds of devotees and preparations for the celebrations going on. All of a sudden Gurudev came and stood next to where I was standing. Without any prompting from me, someone handed an umbrella to hold for Gurudev on nagar-sankīrtan. There were hundreds of people around and all of a sudden I got this umbrella sevā. It was Gurudev's power to grace me. I was trying to hold the umbrella to shade Gurudev from the sun as he was moving about, and I was trying to convince myself that I am serving him. But at the same time, so many wonderful waves of emotions were rising in my mind. I was thinking, oh, this is my Gurudev and I am serving him, I am associating with him. I was feeling as though I was drenched in sparkles of light and showers of grace; it was a wonderful experience.
Later I expressed my desire for hāriṇam to Gurudev and explained to him some background that I am from ISKCON and Gurudev replied, 'As vaiṣṇavas wish, you speak to them.' I met Srila Niṣkiñcana Mahārāj and other vaiṣṇavas downstairs who were making the list of devotees for hāriṇam; my name was entered and I got Gurudev's shelter.
Later I went back to ISKCON again to work as a Manager in the “Food for Life” program and to teach in the gurukula. I had learnt this in ISKCON too that whatever decision we take in life we have to take permission of Gurudev because after hāriṇam dīkṣā we belong to Gurudev and not only our ātmā, our body and all things in relation to the body have become Gurudev's property. Being in Vraja I desired to serve Girirajī, but not before I would consult Gurudev. So I expressed my desire to Gurudev when he came to Vṛndāvana maṭh for an annual function.
Gurudev was very pleased to hear that and not only agreed to it, he also taught me some procedures of sevā. I had heard that Girirajī is very dear to Gurudev, that he took shelter of Girirajī and stayed for some time there when in separation grief on the disappearance of Param Gurudev. But he told me, if you have to leave Vraja or India and go outside, you should not take Girirajī outside Vraja. I had not given much thought to where I will go after leaving Vraja. But the events that would occur in my life prove that Gurudev is antaryāmi (in-dweller of the hearts) and knew my future life and so cautioned me well in advance.
Although I had no desire or plans whatsoever, within six months I had to go abroad and I left Girirajī in Vraja with a pāṇḍā who had performed the first pūjā as per Gurudev's advice. Such small events in my life prove that Gurujī is not of this world, he is antaryāmi. Gurujī naturally tries to cover his opulence, not reveal it, but sometimes it self-manifests and we come to know and experience like this.
Gurudev has great mercy on the living entities. It is not that Gurudev is not here now, he is present among us even now and he also responds. So, it is grossly wrong to say 'Gurudev used to say.' We have heard in ISKCON and also other vaiṣṇavas say, 'Prabhupad says like this;' always in the present tense, not past tense. As we practice this it will work on our subconscious and we will realize within the heart that Gurudev is omnipresent, omnipotent antaryāmi). Therefore we have to use the present tense. Though this is a very simple thing, it demonstrates whether the living entity is still in the material world or is trying to connect to the spiritual world. Though a small thing, it will show one's progress.
—Madhusūdana Das (Manish Lakhani)
Gurudev has great mercy on the living entities. It is not that Gurudev is not here now, he is present among us even now and he also responds. So, it is grossly wrong to say 'Gurudev used to say.' We have heard in ISKCON and also other vaiṣṇavas say, 'Prabhupad says like this;' always in the present tense, not past tense. As we practice this it will work on our subconscious and we will realize within the heart that Gurudev is omnipresent, omnipotent antaryāmi). Therefore we have to use the present tense. Though this is a very simple thing, it demonstrates whether the living entity is still in the material world or is trying to connect to the spiritual world. Though a small thing, it will show one's progress.
—Madhusūdana Das (Manish Lakhani)
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