He Feels Indebted to Those Who Offer Service

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My god-brothers have ordered me to speak some glories of Gurudev. Though I do not know anything much about Gurudev, I am still hoping for Gurudev's blessings and mercy and I will attempt to speak.  
This evening I was trying to remember my interactions with Gurudev. 

By their mercy, vaiṣṇavas engaged me in Gurudev's sevā in 2010. I'd been staying in Vṛndāvan and then Māyāpur, and after Vraja-maṇḍala parikramā in 2010,  I came to Kolkata and was given a place to stay in the library next to Gurudev's bhajan-kuṭīra. Gurudev would come to water Tulasījī every day and go back to his room via the library where many devotees would gather for his darśan.  One day when no one else was around, I offered obeisances to Gurudev.  Then Gurudev's sevāks told Gurudev that I have come from Māyāpur to serve him, I wanted to become his sevāk. Gurudev did not say anything and returned to his room. It was almost a week and I was not given any sevā; I was waiting.  

One day Tatpara Mahārāj (who was serving Gurudev) took me to Gurudev's room and told Gurudev, "He has come to serve you." Gurudev indicated that he had heard him and I offered praṇāms and came out. Previously I would go along with other devotees daily to offer praṇāms to Gurudev in the evening after ārati. When I got orders that I can serve Gurudev, the next day I went to him, offered praṇāms, and prayed, "Gurudev, please accept me and engage me in your sevā."

The scriptures say that Gurudev is antaryāmī, the indweller of every heart, and is non-different from the Lord. Gurudev and Lord are All-knowing. I got the realization of this that day. I told Gurudev that my name is Rādhākānta Das. I also told him the name of my native place and my Grandfather's (Nana's) name. Then Gurudev said, "I knew that you will be coming for sevā." When I heard this, tears filled my eyes.  I was new to the maṭha and I had no knowledge of scriptures nor had I enough sadhu-saṅghā or even listened to hari-kathā or kirtan. All this simply proves that Gurudev's mercy is causeless; without any material consideration. 

I offered praṇāms to Gurudev and came out and contemplated that the scriptures say Guru is Sākṣād Hari, the Lord Himself, and I got proof of this in my very first darśan. This is a very significant event in my life, but I had not remembered it much. Today when vaiṣṇavas requested me to speak, I remembered this.  
In 2011 by the mercy of Gurudev, I traveled all over India. In Govardhana, Itihāsa Kendra was inaugurated by Śrīla Gurudev and then we went to Madhusūdana Mahārāj's Maṭha (Tirtha Āśrama). When we were in Govardhana Itihāsa Kendra and reached Gurudev's room, it was early evening time. Giridhāri Pāṇḍā arrived to meet Gurudev. 

As Gurudev was in the washroom I asked him to wait. The moment Gurudev came out and saw him, he took him by his hand and made him sit next to him on the bed. I had observed that whenever Giridhāri Pāṇḍā visited, Gurudev used to serve him in various ways, even giving him some praṇāmi. Receiving Gurudev's indication, I offered him some praṇāmi. At that time, Gurudev got angry and chastised me severely. I was a little displeased, but still, being that He is Gurudev, seeing his face my mind was pacified. Every time I inquired from Gurudev about how much to give and whatever he indicated, I would give. But this time I decided the amount myself. After a while, Pāṇḍā left.  

That night I humbly asked Gurudev if he had chastised me because the amount of praṇāmi I gave was too small. I didn't know why Gurudev chastised me when I gave Pāṇḍājī the money. He said, "No, it was not less, but he served me a lot." During Param Gurudev's antya-līlā when Gurudev was in Govardhana, he was staying at this Pāṇḍā's house for some days. Gurudev told me the whole story, telling me that when he was doing Govardhana parikramā, Pāṇḍājī got news from the maṭha that Param Gurudev had disappeared and Gurudev needed to be found. Pāṇḍājī went around on a cycle searching for Gurudev and eventually brought him to his house. 

I had heard in some hari-kathā that brāhmaṇa is the guru of materialistic people, the guru of brāhmaṇa is sannyāsī, and a sannyāsī's guru is a vraja-vāsī. (Gurudev did not say these words, some other devotee spoke in hari-kathā.)  

That day Gurudev told me, "I am greatly indebted to him." For whatever service Pāṇḍā did, Gurudev feels indebted to him, and on the other side, for us, Gurudev did so much but still, we are not able to follow him, do proper bhajan, so how much are we indebted to Gurudev? 
 
In Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Adi, 9.41) it is said:

bhārata-bhūmite haila manuṣya janma yāra
janma sārthaka kari’ kara para-upakāra

[One who has taken birth as a human being in the land of Bhārata-varṣa should make his life successful and work for the benefit of all other people.]

Śrīla Gurudev exemplifies this śloka. Having received some favor from Pāṇḍājī, Gurudev was indebted to him his whole life, and Gurudev has given us so much, still, I could not serve Gurudev much. Like this, there are so many instances of Gurudev. I do not remember much, but still, try to remember them.

—Rādhākānta Das

Translated from Hindi to English




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