His Final Pastimes Were Completely Beyond Our Imagination
Today is the Viraha Mahotsav of our Most Revered Śrīla Guru Mahārāja. Śrī Mādana Prabhu, (personal sevāk of Śrīla Param Gurudev), explained the meaning of the word viraha. It is made up of two words: vi and raha (in hindi, visesha rupa se rehena) meaning to reside in a very special way. We understand viraha as separation from someone, to remain far away from someone. But in the spiritual description, it means to reside very close to our worshipable object in a very special way. As described in Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, vaiṣṇavas experience great bliss in viraha.
We had the good fortune of witnessing the viraha pastimes of Guru Mahārāja during his manifest pastimes in this material world. We have seen how our Gurudev has intimately served his Gurudev in the mood of guru-gata-prana, with great dedication. We have also witnessed how he would weep in separation from his Gurudev. When he entered Param Gurudev's bhajan kuṭīra, he would express his feelings of separation as a child does from the mother when feeling separated from her, only desiring to see her and no one else. Guru Mahārāja would utter these words from the core of his heart: “ami kothai jaya, ami kothai jaya?” This means, where shall I go? Where shall I find you now? Why have you left me here alone and gone? Where are you now? While weeping, he cried out to Kṛṣṇa in desperation like Mahāprabhu had.
His whole life is dedicated to his Gurudev's service and he kept guru-sevā his topmost and only priority and saw nothing beyond it. He performed guru-sevā without giving any thought to his happiness, distress, comfort, or discomfort, and without any trace of desire for name and fame. His whole life is like a book from which every vaiṣṇava may draw lessons and inspiration; we must try to accept and follow every word from that book. The way in which he performed guru-sevā is ideal for us to follow always.
How can we sing the glories of our Gurudev when we have not even realized even a pinch of them? We go to other maṭhas and our hearts are deeply touched by listening to his glories sung by vaiṣṇavas. Our life is so inferior that we have not yet entered into the world of bhakti, but when vaiṣṇavas honor us as Gurudev's disciples we can understand how our Gurudev is like a shining bright sun in the gauḍīya sky who is recognized by all vaiṣṇavas. Though we are unqualified and unentitled, we become recipients of their respect. Such is the greatness of our Most Revered Guru Mahārāja.
Only an exalted Mahābhāgavata like him can serve as the example of the pinnacle of guru-sevā and guru-vani sevā. His final pastimes were entirely beyond our imagination. Even the doctors were surprised to see his transcendental pastimes throughout his stay in the hospital in Guwahati. We were witness to the symptoms of mahābhāgavat-vaiṣṇavas whose mere darśana brings forth the Holy Name from the mouths of conditioned souls. Lying on the hospital bed and without uttering a word, a smile, or even a glance, Gurudev attracted the minds and hearts of the hospital staff, doctors, nurses, and attendants. They all became very eager to render service onto his lotus feet. At times they even demanded to get his service even though they had little or no knowledge of Supreme Lord or who is a devotee.
His charisma was greatly self-evident that when he was discharged from the hospital and the staff members were seen weeping. We can understand or accept that the disciples were weeping while seeing that Gurudev was going far away as they had a relationship with him, but witnessing the response of the staff there was incomprehensible. They took our contact numbers and were later contacting us because they wanted to know the well-being of Guru Mahārāja. So what glories can we sing about him? He himself manifested his glories far and wide and in such wonderful ways, but I consider myself unfortunate that in spite of witnessing him and his transcendental pastimes with my own eyes so closely, I continue to remain very far away from the ideal he has taught me through his life and teachings.
We had the good fortune of witnessing the viraha pastimes of Guru Mahārāja during his manifest pastimes in this material world. We have seen how our Gurudev has intimately served his Gurudev in the mood of guru-gata-prana, with great dedication. We have also witnessed how he would weep in separation from his Gurudev. When he entered Param Gurudev's bhajan kuṭīra, he would express his feelings of separation as a child does from the mother when feeling separated from her, only desiring to see her and no one else. Guru Mahārāja would utter these words from the core of his heart: “ami kothai jaya, ami kothai jaya?” This means, where shall I go? Where shall I find you now? Why have you left me here alone and gone? Where are you now? While weeping, he cried out to Kṛṣṇa in desperation like Mahāprabhu had.
His whole life is dedicated to his Gurudev's service and he kept guru-sevā his topmost and only priority and saw nothing beyond it. He performed guru-sevā without giving any thought to his happiness, distress, comfort, or discomfort, and without any trace of desire for name and fame. His whole life is like a book from which every vaiṣṇava may draw lessons and inspiration; we must try to accept and follow every word from that book. The way in which he performed guru-sevā is ideal for us to follow always.
How can we sing the glories of our Gurudev when we have not even realized even a pinch of them? We go to other maṭhas and our hearts are deeply touched by listening to his glories sung by vaiṣṇavas. Our life is so inferior that we have not yet entered into the world of bhakti, but when vaiṣṇavas honor us as Gurudev's disciples we can understand how our Gurudev is like a shining bright sun in the gauḍīya sky who is recognized by all vaiṣṇavas. Though we are unqualified and unentitled, we become recipients of their respect. Such is the greatness of our Most Revered Guru Mahārāja.
Only an exalted Mahābhāgavata like him can serve as the example of the pinnacle of guru-sevā and guru-vani sevā. His final pastimes were entirely beyond our imagination. Even the doctors were surprised to see his transcendental pastimes throughout his stay in the hospital in Guwahati. We were witness to the symptoms of mahābhāgavat-vaiṣṇavas whose mere darśana brings forth the Holy Name from the mouths of conditioned souls. Lying on the hospital bed and without uttering a word, a smile, or even a glance, Gurudev attracted the minds and hearts of the hospital staff, doctors, nurses, and attendants. They all became very eager to render service onto his lotus feet. At times they even demanded to get his service even though they had little or no knowledge of Supreme Lord or who is a devotee.
His charisma was greatly self-evident that when he was discharged from the hospital and the staff members were seen weeping. We can understand or accept that the disciples were weeping while seeing that Gurudev was going far away as they had a relationship with him, but witnessing the response of the staff there was incomprehensible. They took our contact numbers and were later contacting us because they wanted to know the well-being of Guru Mahārāja. So what glories can we sing about him? He himself manifested his glories far and wide and in such wonderful ways, but I consider myself unfortunate that in spite of witnessing him and his transcendental pastimes with my own eyes so closely, I continue to remain very far away from the ideal he has taught me through his life and teachings.
Today I bow down to his lotus feet again and again and pray that to please bestow me with a taste for sevā. I beg for him to make me his own just like how he became the dearest of his Gurudev through his intimate guru-sevā and fulfilling his Gurudev's heart's desire.
Source is here (@about 52.00)
—Śrī Bhakti Suhrid Paramadwaity Mahārāj
Source is here (@about 52.00)
translated from Hindi
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