He Gave Me the Feeling That He Could Enter Into My Heart and Know Everything

My name is Bhakta Dāsa. I joined Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Svāmī Prabhupāda in 1969 in California and he named me, saying "Your name is Bhakta Dāsa." It means you are the servant of devotees. The more you become a servant of the devotees, the more you advance in spiritual life and the more you think of becoming the master the more you go to hell. So in an attempt to take that order seriously, my life has been spent seeking the association and the opportunity to serve the Vaiṣṇavas and by the mercy of Mahāprabhu and of the Vaiṣṇavas.

Approximately two years before Śrīla Gurudeva had his stroke pastime (I believe it was the day after Gaura-pūrṇimā)  I was blessed to go into his bhajana kuṭira in Mayapur along with Śrīla Bhakti Vicara Viṣṇu Mahārāja who is a disciple of Śrīla Bhakti Vaibhava Puri Mahārāja and my very dear friend. It was only the two of us and Gurudeva in the room. I remember offering my obeisances and speaking to him only for a few minutes but very intimately.  He told me, "I like how you speak. You speak very clearly and I can understand you very well." And then looking in his eyes I could feel this is a Vaiṣṇava who is able to penetrate into the very core of my heart and understand me better than I can understand myself. I've met Guru Mahārāja, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and Śrīla Bhakti Vaibhava Puri Mahārāja who all gave me that same feeling of being able to enter the heart and mind and know exactly what is inside and being able to reciprocate absolutely, perfectly just like the Supersoul. 

So ever since that time, I was always remembering him. Somehow I got only a mailing list of his disciples who send out some of his sayings almost every day and very joyfully I share them widely on Facebook, on WhatsApp, and wherever groups I am in. Sometimes some of my god-brothers criticize me and ask why are you sharing this other devotee’s words, not Prabhupāda’s? And I have to tell them that Prabhupāda said there is only one Guru and that is the Supreme Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa who is appearing in an infinite number of forms. So, this guru-tattva is something often misunderstood. 

Some devotees say "this is my guru, this is your guru" and say they are different. But in truth Guru is one, one who carries the message of Kṛṣṇa absolutely, perfectly, without adding, without subtracting, and without multiplying. So His Divine Grace Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja practically did that and he is considering to do that through his words and through his disciples. I feel honored to have their association, to be blessed by them, and hopefully to continue progressing on my own path back to Godhead. 

I joined Kṛṣṇa Consciousness to get away from sectarianism and it pains me greatly to see when aspiring devotees think that my guru is better than your guru, and my group is better than your group. This vision really hinders the sankīrtana movement. My dream is that the day will come when all of us assemble in the giant football stadiums of the world as one and hold kīrtanas—hundreds and thousands of people together coming together as one family of Kṛṣṇa. Sankīrtana is what destroys all the false ego. Without sankīrtana, we all have ego and are on any other material platform of different bodies, minds, and past karmas. And when we are all chanting and dancing together then we are all pure and one with one another as brothers. That is Mahāprabhu’s mission.

Śrīla Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja was previously the president of the Worldwide Vaiṣṇava Association and sometimes I used to go to the annual meetings in Mayapur and he would always speak. I remember there was a translator and the translator said that he is speaking in Bengali but he said that it doesn’t matter what the language is because the sound is transcendental and will have its effect no matter what language is being spoken. That was a really wonderful moment to remember for me. I also used to go to his hari-kathā meetings in Puri during Rathayātrā and again he spoke in Bengali or Hindi which I do not understand, but just to be in his presence was so inspiring. I regret that I was not able to have more of his association during my life but I am hoping that in our lives to come we can continue preaching the message of Mahāprabhu and gradually flooding this world with the harināma-saṅkīrtana.

Once one is liberated from the material nature then maya cannot attract him any more. This is very true with Bhakti Ballabha Tīrtha Mahārāja. He was beyond material nature, he was totally situated in transcendence. Every word from his mouth was transcendental, every moment of his hands was transcendental, and every blink of his eye was transcendental.  I have so much love and respect for him. 

—Bhakta Dāsa

spoken in English on Zoom. April 28, 2024