He Paid So Much Attention to a Small Person Like Me
I first came to know about Guru Mahārāja when I was in ISKCON for about seven years as I had been searching for a guru. At that time, the prominent Vaiṣṇava was Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja, the oldest living disciple of Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Gosvāmī Ṭhākura. I had heard of him along with Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Nārāyaṇa Gosvāmī Mahārāja and Śrīla Bhakti Sundara Govinda Mahārāja. One disciple of Śrīla Puri Mahārāja told us that he associated with our Guru Mahārāja and the characteristics he gave to Guru Mahārāja were like all qualities of Vaiṣṇavas that are described in the Śāstras. It is evident that he is a perfect Vaiṣṇava devotee; we can see it with our own eyes. Although [hearing that] was really amazing, I was not intending [to meet him] because [I didn't have] much information about him.
When I was visiting India for the first time, I came from Moscow and went to Kolkata on the way to Māyāpura to meet Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja. I went to maṭha at Kalighat from the airport. It was the evening class of Śrīmad Bhāgavatam and Guru Mahārāja was delivering hari-kathā. I wanted to meet him and talk to him and I just sat in the class in that naṭamandira and waited until it was complete so I could speak to him. But he immediately stopped his lecture and addressed me. From where have you come, and where are you going? I felt shy that he paid so much attention to a small person like me who just came for the first time and interrupted his lecture to pay attention to me. It was always like that, Guru Mahārāja gave some special attention to us insignificant persons, but from his perspective it was important. He knew that this new person required some support and he provided that every time.
So, after class, I went to his room to get acquainted with him and we talked for the first time. He asked me about my program and I told him I wanted to meet Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja because I was searching for a guru from whom to take shelter. He said, "I am going to Māyāpura tomorrow morning along with my team, so please come with me." It was very unusual for me to experience Guru Mahārāja offering me a ride in the car even though it was the first time he had met me. I sat in his car and went to Māyāpura, stopping on the way at Kṛṣṇanagar for lunch prasād there at the maṭha.
In Māyāpura we went with Guru Mahārāja to different maṭhas and then on the way to Śrīla Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja’s maṭha I remember we went to Ṣaḍbhuja Gauḍīya Maṭha there was one disciple of Śrīla Bhakti Sāraṅga Gosvāmī Mahārāja who appeared to be physically incapacitated. Guru Mahārāja talked to him and gave some donations. I also saw the example of Guru Mahārāja giving that donation to senior Vaiṣṇavas. So then we came to the bhajan-kuṭira of Śrīla Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja and I was introduced to him. That time it was the early 90s (around 30 years ago) and there were a few of Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura Prabhupāda’s disciples living with Śrīla Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja in Śrī Gopīnātha Gauḍīya Maṭha. Of course, there were other Vaiṣṇavas also and among them a young sannyāsi, I heard that Śrīla Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja had a secretary, Śrīla Bhakti Vibudha Bodhāyana Gosvāmī Mahārāja. The devotees in Russia told me to talk to him. When I saw him, I was wondering who this young sannyāsi was and he said "I am Bodhāyana Mahārāja." I was thinking that sannyāsis must be old aged, a great personality, but he is so young, easy to talk to.
So, we went Śrīla Bhakti Pramoda Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja's room and they started to talk about Guru Mahārāja's first trip abroad from India. I was witnessing how they were discussing and what their relationship was. It was a very warm and very unofficial; a very close and loving relationship. It is also very amazing for the person coming from the West because in Western culture, people are reluctant to be close and loving very much to each other. People are also envious, morose, and not very close. But here in India it is so warm. We can't even cannot realize how close people are in their family relationships. And Gauḍīya Maṭha is of course a big family and all these Ācāryas like Śrīla Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja, Guru Mahārāja and others are like a big family that is very close, warm, and loving; very sweet, very soft. It was a good example to learn about these kinds of relationships and I always appreciated them. I was always thinking how this is the real life, these are the real persons. Even among devotees in the West, there is so much distance and the relationships are so formal. Everything there is impersonal [including] situations and relationships.
Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Svāmī Prabhupāda said that he came to the West to destroy this impersonalism. When his disciples ask Prabhupāda why he emphasizes fighting against impersonalists [they stressed that] it is not relevant to them and there were no impersonalists there. But Prabhupāda said they were impersonalists. And now I realize what he really meant by that, impersonalism is just absence of close relationships, no saṃbandha, and no heart’s feeling. And Guru Mahārāja’s heart was very open and he was always loved everyone without reservation. He is teaching us how to love everyone. And this was a great big lesson for me.
And it so happened that I stayed in Gopīnātha Gauḍīya Maṭha and visited places like ISKCON and so Guru Mahārāja and I were always crossing paths. And when I came to Vṛndāvana, Guru Mahārāja came there too and I stayed in our maṭha in Mathura Road. On Baladeva Pūrṇimā, I decided that Guru Mahārāja is so encouraging to me every time, so I have to take shelter of him. I asked for dīkṣā and he said no, you should go to Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja because he is the senior and it would be better for you. But somehow I approached other god-brothers of Guru Mahārāja and asked for their help and they said yes, let him be initiated. So in this way, Guru Mahārāja showed his mercy on me. In the initiation ceremony, he spoke in three languages because a large number of devotees were Hindi speaking, another part was Bengali speaking and I was the only person speaking English. So he spoke every detail to me in the initiation. It was also amazing that he spent so much time on one person. But Guru Mahārāja’s mercy was such that he never counted the number of people.
When I was on Vraja-maṇḍala parikramā, the situation was such that I was the first full-time devotee staying in the maṭha from the West and his first initiates as a brahmacārī. Somehow I convinced him and he took me and I stayed for five blissful years in the maṭha and he took me everywhere. Those days in the mid-90s to the end of 90s, it was easy to stay with Guru Mahārāja because he was not under lock or guard. Anyone could easily ask him anything. It was such a nice time and also so nice to remember how Guru Mahārāja was so open and sharing.
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