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His Eternal Solution is Surrender

Once during the month of Kartik, we were at Syama kunda of Sree Chaitanya Gaudiya math in Mayapur sitting at the lotus feet of most dear Srila Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Goswami Maharaj. All devotees were in ananda by taking the darsan of his sweet and smiling lotus face and merciful glances. Kirtan was going on. I was sitting just next to his lotus feet. Then I start to pray to him internally, looking at him:


Guru Maharaj, what will I do? I see that Srila Bhaktisidhanta Saraswati Thakur made this Gaudiya maths only to give shelter to male devotees. They can live in the math peacefully engaged in them seva and bhajan. They don’t need to worry anymore about them own maintenance since Math will provide them anything they need. In this way, they have your shelter, but what about someone like me, a woman devotee? There is no shelter for me in the Gaudiya maths. And I want to also just engage my life in Hari bhajan and service to Vaisnavas...


In this way, I was just lamenting and looking to Guru Maharaj eye to eye, without open my mouth I pray to him in this way, because I knew that he could hear my heart. He was also looking at me fixedly.


Then the kirtan finished and every devotee came to give to Guru Maharaj them pranams. When I came to offer mine, he looked at me and said very emphatically:


"Don’t be afraid, Supreme Lord Himself will arrange everything for you ! He will give you anything you need. You just engage in His service. Never fear!"


I was perplexed to confirm that he could actually hear my prayers in mind.


Then another time in Kolkata math, I was also very worried because I was seeing that Guru Maharaj ji each time was in a more internal mood and speaking less and less to us. I was feeling really sad because thinking that in the short time he will never again be able to talk to me. Then the time for evening darsan came. When I came in front of him to receive the Prasad given by his own loving hands he told me:


“ I am always with you, permanently I am there in your heart. Don’t think that I will be away from you. ”


By these two facts and many others, he showed me that he is completely antaryami. He knows everything that is going on in our present hearts— past, and also future. And his love is as huge and deep as Sri Nityananda Prabhu’s love. I don’t see the difference.


By telling this kind of things to me he encouraged me to take fully shelter in Supreme Lord and surrender to Him only. And by doing this is the way how you can become fearless in life. That is the quality of a devotee.


All glories to Guru Maharaj!


—Raseshwari Dasi


Guru Maharaj speaks with Raseshwari Dasi, Kolkata

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