His Enactment of Sickness Pastimes in Order to Engage Us in Sankirtan

I never had any chance to interact directly with His Divine Grace because of His illness pastimes. But even then I consider myself a most fortunate disciple because of the firm faith I have that one of the reasons for his physical presence amongst us is to bestow his unparalleled mercy upon as many of the fallen souls as possible. I am writing this to express my heartfelt realizations since I have come in contact with His Divine Grace.

I came in touch with Krishna consciousness through ISKCON around the year 2000 and I was also chanting 16 rounds on beads since 2008. But for one reason or the other, I did not get formally initiated. The prime reason for this was that I simply could not decide who had the qualification to become guru as this person was going to be responsible for taking me back to Godhead. Even though I had taken shelter of a sanyasi in ISKCON, but I could not make a decision to get initiated because of this dilemma.

Then in 2013, my fortune arose when I was employed at a place close to Chandigarh. I was attending a rath-yatra organized by Chandigarh ISKCON, which stopped in front of the Sree Chaitanya Gaudiya math, Chandigarh. I had the opportunity to take divine darshan of Sri Sri RadhaMadhav. Later I returned back to math in December 2013 when Srila Gurudeva was exhibiting the pastimes of getting cerebral stroke, while admitted in the GNRC hospital, Guwahati. Everyone at the math was praying for his well-being.

I had just visited the math in my search for a perfect guru. I also purchased a book by His Divine Grace, “Harikatha and Vaishnava Aparadha.” After reading this wonderful treatise, all my doubts vanished and I had received all my answers as to whom one should approach to hear actual Harikatha which is non-different from Hari himself. Srila Gurudeva has so emphatically explained in this book as to who can speak Harikatha.*

After going through this book, I was thoroughly impressed at the humbleness of the writer and the magnanimity of the surrender to his own guru and preceding acharyas. Even though I had not yet had the fortune of taking darshan of His Divine Grace, but in my heart I knew that at last I have found a true devotee.

At that time, I was sincerely praying to the Lord to grant Him more few more years of life so that I could receive initiation from His Divine Grace. But even at that time, I was underestimating His Divinity, because I didn’t realize that this illness was merely a pastime and he recuperated from this illness by His own sweet will. In August, 2014 Srila Guru Maharaja so mercifully bestowed me with Harinam, and in year 2016 I got formally initiated.

But this time when Srila Guru Maharaja is displaying His pastimes of being critically ill, I had the experience of His unlimited mercy. I only decided to come to Kolkata math when there was a second notice from the math about His critical state of health. Later I realized why did He had to be so sick. He had to be so critically sick because of fallen souls like me.

I simply ignored the first message because I thought I could not leave my clinic and afford to go to Kolkata at such short notice. I only decided to come to Kolkata when His vitals were hopelessly deteriorated. Srila Gurudeva had to be so “sick” to simply engage a fallen soul like me in Harinam sankirtana 24 hrs a day.

Also on the personal front, I was struggling in professional life since the last few months and I could not give enough time for the sadhan-bhajan and chanting. For me, His present pastime is just to convey to us that how much he is pleased by Harinam sankirtan, and His only desire is engage us in Harinam sankirtan.

I also had the realization of Srila Gurudeva’s omnipotence while I was attending the non-stop Harinam Sankirtana in the verandah close to Srila Gurudeva’s room. In my heart I wanted to hear a bhajan by "Sri Radha-Krishna pada-kamalae..." which invokes a lot feeling of separation from Lord Krishna. I was simply praying to Srila Gurudeva and Krishna while sitting in the kirtana.

During the kirtana Balaram prabhu was leading while a senior grihasta devotee, Bhupinder prabhu was sitting beside him. Balaram prabhu had just finished Mahamantra kirtana and was about to pass on the mike to some other devotee. Just then, Bhupinder prabhu requested him to sing this particular bhajan. I was so amazed and overwhelmed with the emotions. I had heard so many times that our Gurudeva is antaryami, but now this is my own personal experience.

—Ajit Govind Das (Ajay Bajaj)






* author had especially noted these following excerpts:

“But Harikatha (which is identical with Hari) descends only on the tongue of that sincere devotee who has dedicated himself fully to the service of Sri Krishna and who is serving Sri Krishna at every step, twenty-four hours a day. As such devotee is rarely to be found in this world, is also scarce…

“One who knows Krishna or perceives Krishna by the realization can speak about Him. One who has no realization of Krishna, how can he speak about Him?

“Devotees, according to their degrees of devotion or submission will be entitled to speak to that extent about the glories, Name, Form, Attributes, Personal Associates and Pastimes of Sri Krishna.

“As per degree of dedication to Supreme Lord Sri Krishna and His personal associates, so much will be the revelation of the transcendental sweet glories of Sri Krishna and His associates in the hearts of the bona fide devotees.

“There is a disparity in the degrees of dedication amongst devotees. Therefore there exist so many degrees of the revelation of the glories of the Divinity.

“Gopis and their own personal associates have dedicated themselves completely to Sri Krishna and His entourage, and as such, they actually know the glories of Sri Radha-Krishna and can speak about Them.”

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