In 2002, I was associating with a devotee told me that diksa was absolutely essential in purifying myself to chant suddha nama, so I requested it from Srila Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Maharaja later that year.
Srila Gurudeva looked right at me and told me, “You won’t be able to do. The harinama which I already gave you is all you need.”
At the time, I thought he was testing me, but in retrospect, I can see he meant it. Still, I foolishly insisted for two weeks until he finally gave. A while later, following Srila Gurudeva through the courtyard of the math, I audaciously asked, “Could you please speak something about the difference between sanga-siddha bhakti, sanga-siddha bhakti and svarupa-siddha bhakti?”
Then Srila Gurudeva said, I can tell that you have been associating in another sanga. You may continue, but you should only discuss diksa mantras with me or one of my disciples.
In 2003 or 2004, I was sitting in the middle of perhaps 100 people, when the young previously-mentioned sanyassi announced that in his class, one of the main subjects he wanted to cover was the meaning of the diksa mantras. Oh no!, I thought. I was hooked on his katha, and it would be very difficult to cross over all the squeezed, seated devotees to get out, so I prayed deeply to Srila Gurudeva to protect me from hearing about the diksa mantras.
After about an hour and a half, he ended his katha saying, “Oh, I was going to touch on our diksa mantras, but I completely forgot. Next time.” Jaya Gurudeva!
—Gita Dasi, Netherlands