An Experience of Receiving News of His Departure
I remember all of our Gurudev’s daughters and sons who were in Kolkata Math doing Sankirtan with hope.
When some news came that there is some improvement in Gurudev’s situation, we went to take prasad. A sweet was also served that night because of the improvement news.
When I reached back to join the Sankirtan on the top floor, there were few devotees in the verandah. I was not aware of what doctors were doing inside Gurudev’s room. I sat facing the hall watching doctors entering the room and coming back and forth. Then a few ascetic members also entered his room.
Then we were told to sing ‘Radha Kunda Tata Kunja Kutir’ We completed that and again repeated the same kirtan. By now many people had gathered in the hall and the verandah. During the second time that bhajan was sung, a thunderbolt-like announcement came: “Our Gurudev left us!" What followed was indescribable.
Who was telling us about an hour ago that there’s improvement? We just had prasad downstairs! How come that was possible? Is it true? Our Most Revered Gurudev’s departure from the planet was something we never wanted to believe!
I rushed to the hall to see what the reality was. I saw people forming a long quick line to enter the room of Gurudev. No one was allowed to get into the room for the last three years! Then I realized that the greatest catastrophe has happened. Gurudev’s room can’t be allowed to be inundated by all like that. I could not stand anymore. I squatted on the floor, shrieking.
When I got to enter the room, I cued up behind the devotees who were slowly circumambulating the hospital bed on which Gurudev was resting! I also touched His Lotus Feet protruding out of the saffron chadar on the transcendental vigraha.
I requested to fan with a peacock feather fan for a few seconds. Before coming out I gathered all my courage to put my forehead on the glowing Lotus Feet! Then I sat outside in front of the door, crying and watching those effulgent Lotus Feet. I could not say anything to Gurudev except repeatedly repenting, feeling guilty..."Hey Gurudev! Ha Gurudev!! "
—Rasvihari Das
When I reached back to join the Sankirtan on the top floor, there were few devotees in the verandah. I was not aware of what doctors were doing inside Gurudev’s room. I sat facing the hall watching doctors entering the room and coming back and forth. Then a few ascetic members also entered his room.
Then we were told to sing ‘Radha Kunda Tata Kunja Kutir’ We completed that and again repeated the same kirtan. By now many people had gathered in the hall and the verandah. During the second time that bhajan was sung, a thunderbolt-like announcement came: “Our Gurudev left us!" What followed was indescribable.
Who was telling us about an hour ago that there’s improvement? We just had prasad downstairs! How come that was possible? Is it true? Our Most Revered Gurudev’s departure from the planet was something we never wanted to believe!
I rushed to the hall to see what the reality was. I saw people forming a long quick line to enter the room of Gurudev. No one was allowed to get into the room for the last three years! Then I realized that the greatest catastrophe has happened. Gurudev’s room can’t be allowed to be inundated by all like that. I could not stand anymore. I squatted on the floor, shrieking.
When I got to enter the room, I cued up behind the devotees who were slowly circumambulating the hospital bed on which Gurudev was resting! I also touched His Lotus Feet protruding out of the saffron chadar on the transcendental vigraha.
I requested to fan with a peacock feather fan for a few seconds. Before coming out I gathered all my courage to put my forehead on the glowing Lotus Feet! Then I sat outside in front of the door, crying and watching those effulgent Lotus Feet. I could not say anything to Gurudev except repeatedly repenting, feeling guilty..."Hey Gurudev! Ha Gurudev!! "
—Rasvihari Das
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