His Desire for Us to Honor Prasad Deeply

Guru Maharaj would always instruct me in a very gentle way. He knew I couldn't handle much criticism. I'm quite a fragile person, so Guru Maharaj was always very gentle communicating things I could have done better. Sometimes it was so subtle, He would just look at me for 2 seconds and I could understand what I did wrong. So gentle.

Bindu Madhava Prabhu would often say, "Guru Maharaj gives exactly the right medicine in the right dosage for each person. Whatever they could take, he would give just the right amount."

One time, however, Srila Guru Maharaj directly corrected me in front of everybody. It was during Tulsi worship when he used to come out into the library in Kolkata math.

This happened because at that time I was cooking my own prasadam. Because of health problems, I needed to control my diet and wouldn't take the math prasad. He would always ask everyone, "Have you taken prasadam?" And when he asked me directly one day, I said, "No, Guru Maharaj, I have not taken from the temple. I make my own."

Then he said, "Is it good to neglect the Lord?" And he turned to all the others present and asked again, "Is it good she's neglecting the Lord?" And I realized I never paid attention to the Lord's prasadam. I felt devastated to realize it and to be chastised in front of so many others.

A few minutes later when I was alone in the room, I realized how much more love I had just received. Guru Maharaj made me understand this and soothed me. He consoled me. I understood how precious it was that he considered me a disciple. He thought if I don't correct her, she will commit aparadh. That mood suddenly became so clear. I thought, wow! I received so much more love than before. He was so concerned. Again, he was gentle. I was feeling so loved, alone in the room.

Then I thought, what should I do now? I can't take the math prasad; I know I will get stomach problems. But it was Guru Maharaj's order. I would always cook myself. It was very difficult. I did it because I thought I have to take care of my health not because I necessarily wanted to do it. I had to get my own bhog and there was no proper place to cook. I had to clean my pot in a small sink outside the bathroom. It was all very troublesome. It would actually be nice to just sit downstairs with the devotees and take prasad there.

I was in a dilemma. The whole afternoon I was thinking about what to do. Then I decided that tomorrow I will also sit downstairs and take prasad there. It is Guru Maharaj's order and what to do. And actually, it will be nice to eat all the tasty prasad: rice, pakora, sweet rice. That was my decision. I thought I know I can't digest, but if Guru Maharaj tells me that order, it is the highest.

So the next day when I was standing in the library Guru Maharaj asked as usual, "Have you taken prasadam?" And I said, "No, Guru Maharaj, but I will take later." He paused for a moment and then he said, "Very little you take, very little." He was about to move on, then paused again, and said to me: "No. You take mentally." He looked at me again and laughed and walked away.

And I also had to laugh - No pakoras and sweet rice for me. But from then on, I would always take a few grains of rice of the math prasad to honour it. He made the point to honour the Lord's prasad, even if it is mentally. Don't remove yourself entirely from the merciful process of honouring prasad with the devotees.

—Urmila Dasi, Germany (Udupi)

spoken June 22, 2017 at Sree Chaitanya Gaudiya Math, Kolkata