He Awakens Bhakti Immediately

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I had been living for some years in a Vaisnava-ashram in Switzerland that was very high in the mountains.  This place where devotees lived and practiced together was called Ananda dham. While I was practicing there, I  met many sadhus, but none of them called my heart. For over one year I prayed: “Oh Krishna, how can I choose a Guru? Would I choose him because he looks like a father, or because he's there in a nice community around I feel well with? I understood when I prayed that I cannot see see what is best for me, so when I prayed I asked it to be revealed to me who is the  best guru for me.  I really thought only Krishna can choose him, not me.

Someone asked me to follow his Gurudev so I tried to find out if this was the right guru for me, but my heart didn’t have any reaction and I didn’t accept. I kept on praying. Suddenly I got an email from Arjuna Prabhu from Holland, who had been in the sevak team of Srila Bhakti Promode Puri Maharaj in his last period of life. He wrote: “Open this website and look at this Vaisnava…” I opened the website, and I saw Gurudev's picture for the first time. When his picture appeared, my heart was exploding and a wave of deep pure love entered. Tears came out of my eyes and I immediately knew: “It is him!” I was overwhelmed, full of love and crying—  it touched me that much.

Some months later, Arjuna called me and said: “I think it is time to go to India to meet Srila Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Maharaj.” I was never in India, and I had thought only if I get invited I will go. So very excitedly we left a week later. It was my first time in India. First, we went to Jagannath Puri, and the next day Arjuna said: “We walk a little bit, you can let your shoes here…” I had no idea what we will do. He called it parikram. We went to see all places of Mahaprabhu. All was so impressive for me, walking barefoot, seeing all these amazing places. The sun was so hot that my feet were hurting. We walked 6-7 hours. Well, I was not used to this, so, after not being anymore able to walk, and nearly fainting because of the heat, some Matajis took me under their arms and very happily, we finished the parikrama.

The next day we went to Mayapur and on the way we picked up Akincana Prabhu, the main organizer of Gurudev's European and N American tours at the airport and took him with us. ”Tomorrow we will see Srila Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Maharaj," Arjuna said.  I was so curious.

I couldn’t sleep that night, I was so exciting to see him. When we were standing in front of the math, I heard inside my inner voice. She said: “This is the highest university. Only go in if you really want to study there."  I did wish to, so I went in. 

We came to Gurudev's door and he came out just at that moment. When I saw him, my breathing stopped. I never saw someone like him. The beauty, the sweetness, the kindness, the incredible power— I was looking at him and thought: “Only now, after so many years of Krishna consciousness, I understand what Krishna consciousness really is. He was the personification of it. The sweetness he had, I never saw before in any person.

He was very happy to see us, and he asked us to come in his room. I felt so shy, but also very nice being with these two wonderful senior devotees. Gurudev was very happy to see us, he was smiling so much. And he became emotional when he saw Akincana Prabhu.

This was my very first lesson from Gurudev: Whoever did something for him in his life, he was forever thankful to this person and took special care of them. So it was like this with Akincana Prabhu and Arjuna Prabhu. He spoke with them, and everybody was so happy. Suddenly he turned to me and he looked very softly at me. He said: “Do you remember me?” My heart stopped, the love that came from him was incredible. I didn’t understand what he meant, and I said: “No, I don’t remember you…” I was not able to speak any other word, but inside I felt like I know him. He kept on speaking with the others. I was looking at him, and suddenly I took all my courage together, and said: “Can you please give me initiation?” He smiled and kept on speaking with the others. I sat there and decided inside: “Whatever will happen, I will not go out of India until he gives me initiation…” 

Suddenly he smiled at me and said: “Yes, I will give your initiation. Or you stay here, and I will give it the last day Kartik, (it was at the beginning of Kartik) or at Gaurpurnima in March. I said: “End of Kartik.” I didn't want to waste any time.

Then he stood up and took the book he was always writing in. He started to read things that he has written such as slokas.  Suddenly, he became loud with his voice and he said: “And Krishna Prem, Krishna Prem…. you only find in India…” and then he pointed on me and he repeated, looking me very deep in my eyes: “Only in India…” I was overwhelmed, and inside I thought; “Maybe I will live in India…”

Everybody in the room was very touched…Gurudev's sevaks were also there. And when we looked around, we saw that the devotees outside were hanging like monkeys at the windows, even til the top point of the window, everybody so greedy and touched by this very special moment of Gurudev. That evening everybody was going full of Gurudev's nectar. His mercy was flowing like a river.

It was already late, so we went, drunk with bhakti to our rooms.
I fell asleep, happy and with the feeling: “This is what I have searched for life after life…and now here it is. In this wonderful person, at this wonderful place, with these wonderful devotees.”

Suddenly in the night I woke up and my heart was so open and out of my heart came these words, with an explosion of love: “Mahaprabhu, Lord Jaganath, Sri Krishna, Sri Radhe…” Like a old memory, this came out of my heart.

From that day on, bhakti was in my heart. Never left. Gurudev only needed one second to awake bhakti in me. This is the specialty of a pure bhakta like Gurudev. In only one second, he can awaken bhakti in you; love for God—that is overwhelming. Only in one second.

 And after his departure I experienced with a friend, that even without his physical presence he can do it. I will be forever in debt to him, for what he has given to me, and I pray from the core of my heart, that I can always be close to him and serve him. and that many souls can get his mercy.

Jay Sri Gurudev.

Dandavat pranams,
your servant
Ananga Manjari (Switzerland)







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