He Doesn't See Faults

I met Gurudev in 1999 in Phoenix, Arizona [USA]. I was already a diksa initiated disciple of HH Romapada Swami of ISKCON. While living in Pheonix, I met Akincana Prabhu and his wife and they introduced me to Guru Maharaj when he was visiting in July 1999. I attended meetings and programs with Gurudev and then Gurudev and his servants left Pheonix. By the end of 1999, we moved to Boston, Massachusetts. Initially, I was not so much affected by Gurudev's association, rather it came gradually later on. Every month that passed, my affection for Srila Gurudev was growing and growing. 

At one point I called my disksa guru Romapada Swami and told him I have so much love for Gurudev. I didn't know if I should leave and ask Gurudev for siksa and diksa initiation or not. Romapada Swami told me there's nothing wrong with getting siksa from anyone outside of ISKCON, but asked me to not commit any offenses to AC Bhaktivedanta Swami by criticizing ISKCON to others. That as never my intention but we know that it often happens when devotees leave from one guru to another they have a tendency to criticize. It's very important for us not to criticize and our Bhakti Ballabhh Tirtha Goswami was a living example of that. 

When I joined ISKCON, I always had the desire to meet someone like AC Bhaktivedanta Swami because in ISKCON he is always praised and glorified. Everyone tells stories about how pure and fantastic he was. He left in 1977, so I never had a chance to meet him. I left Poland in 1981 to go to the US. I always had the desire to meet a devotee of that level of purity. Lord Krishna always fulfills my desires, so I met Srila Gurudev. I was very happy. It took time to get to the point of understanding how pure Gurudev is. It's impossible to understand with ordinary intelligence. To a degree, I was able to understand Gurudev is my true spiritual master. 

While Gurudev was visiting us in Massachusetts, he stayed for 4 days it was the first time Guru Maharaj was outside of India, Vrindavan for Lord Baladeva's appearance day so we celebrated in our house there. When Gurudev was giving a lecture, he looked at me and said, “Balaram is coming to you as a spiritual master." This was for me like a bucket of water on the head. I had a clear understanding that Gurudev is the one who came to rescue me from this material world—the link between myself and Krishna in the spiritual world. 

Gurudev was staying with his sevaks at our home for 4 days. One incident that happened at my house, although you may know it, I will repeat. It shows how humble Gurudev was and the degree of his inconceivable humility. Gurudev was staying downstairs in a separate room. At the time we had a big dog. He was gentle but scary looking with a big head. I kept the dog in the basement so visiting devotees would feel comfortable. One day when Gurudev was about to give a lecture we were waiting for him upstairs and he was not coming for a long time, so I went downstairs to see why. 

When I entered, I saw my dog standing next to Gurudev and Gurudev was standing very still, seemingly scared of the dog. So I immediately closed the door. The dog had probably pushed open the door to the basement which I had not closed properly and he ran to Gurudev's room. I paid obeisances and apologized for that. Gurudev came upstairs for the lecture and began by saying, Sanjaya saved me. I was surprised by what Gurudev was saying. Gurudev told about the dog coming to the room and looking at him and how he felt scared. "Sanjaya came and rescued me," he said. 

From my point of view, I committed an offense because it was my fault that I didn’t close the door properly. But Gurudev didn’t see my fault, he praised me. This is how he was. He never did or said anything to make anyone feel guilty or uncomfortable. There were many situations where Gurudev gave us examples of how to act as a Vaishnava would or to show us the way he wished we could behave. Gurudev was that example of humility and perfect behavior. 

—Sanjay Das (Boston)

transcribed from zoom meeting dedicated to remembering Srila Gurudev in separation (Tirobhav) April 15, 2020
video here:



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