They Are My Gurudev’s Sevāks, I Have to Take Care of Them

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In his last instructions, Śrīla Param Gurudev cautioned his sevāks to remain far away from kanaka, kāminī, and pratiṣṭhā which are the three impediments to devotional practice. Our Gurudev gave more emphasis on the chanting of Narasiṃha prayers in our maṭha, the reason for which he explained in hari-kathā. The three impediments are represented by Hiraṇyakaśipu and so by praying for Narasiṃha Deva's mercy, these impediments will be destroyed. 

Gurudev kept account of small service contributions of even twenty-five paise and honoring the mood of service of the people would utilize it in sevā at the earliest. Gurudev would book his travel tickets by ordinary sleeper class from the pranāmī offered by the devotees. So the devotees applied their intelligence and would book the tickets themselves and send them to him. 

I remember an instance in 2002 when Gurudev had some heart problems. He had canceled his pracār program and was staying in Guwahati. Gurudev wanted to go to Goalpara and Madanlal Gupta, his dear disciple, wished to visit there with him. I was there present in Guru Mahārāja's room when the discussion was going on as to how to reach Goalpara.  Gurudev suggested we go by local train which will take some two hours to reach, and some brahmacharis would climb in first and reserve some seats for us so we could sit and travel comfortably. It was not that Gurudev was worried about money, it was because of his simple nature that he was suggesting this. he was suggesting it. But then Śrī Madanlal Gupta spoke in a raised voice and said, "We are all going by car and I will make all the arrangements." There were some twenty of us to travel including some foreign devotees and he arranged all the vehicles to go. But Gurudev was in such a renounced state that no external comforts mattered to him.  

While staying in Gokul Mahāvan, I fell ill due to a change in food habits. When I met Gurudev in Delhi he asked why I came and how my health was. Others told him that I am there to collect donations for Gokul Mahāvan maṭha. In clear terms, Gurudev told, "First get him treated for his ailment, and then you may engage him in sevā."  He also told them that I will send the required funds to Gokul Mahavan maṭha for those many months he is unwell. He never considered any sevāk as young or old, novice or advanced, all are my Gurudev's sevāks, I have to serve them and take care of them— that was his mood and conduct.  

In Allahabad, one sevāk by the name Saccidānanda Prabhu would sing kirtans so well that he received the title vagh-bhushan. He fell ill and was to be sent to Delhi for treatment. When my name was suggested to accompany him to Delhi, Guru Mahārāja called me four times to give money for the tickets, to enquire about the booking, and also to give me instructions to take him carefully to Delhi maṭha. This showed me how much he was concerned and how much he cared while considering us to be his Gurudev's sevāks. It was as if Param Gurudev was sitting inside his heart and directing him; his conduct was non-different from Param Gurudev's.  

Gurudev's life was full of separation mood and by incessantly shedding tears in separation grief from Param Gurudev his eyes had become dry and we needed to put eye drops into his eyes frequently.  Though externally unseen, Gurudev's separation grief burning his heart from within had dried up his eyes. His daily visits to Param Gurudev's room and his vision of seeing Param Gurudev's photos and his things reveal the height of his divine madness in love.  

—Sri Bhakti Kinkar Damodar Mahārāj


Translated from Hindi to English. Excerpted from a talk on April 17, 2020, Srila Gurudev's 3rd disappearance anniversary. Source is here.






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