Looking At His Smiling Face, I Would Forget Everything

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First of all, I offer my heartfelt obeisances unto the lotus feet of Śrīla Gurudev. Words fall short when I express my fortune and blissful association with Mahārāj. Dating back to the early eighties when I was a schoolgirl, I accompanied my family to attend his discourses at Lakshmi Narayan temple (Gandhi Nagar, Jammu). I used to look forward to the month of September every year when Guru Mahārāj visited and blessed everyone in Jammu with his big entourage of sannyāsīs and brahmacārīs. 

The highlight of the two weeks program was a grand nagar-saṅkīrtana procession. All those images still flash in front of my eyes and I was reminded of them when I watched a video that had been recorded. Although I had so many opportunities and so many times to ask questions to Gurudev,  I hardly asked as I was intimidated and hardly had any doubts because looking at his smiling face, I would forget everything. 

I had just entered class twelve when I took harinām along with my revered father and other godsisters and godbrothers. I still have that picture as a memory. As years passed by and I studied further, I got a job after completing my MBA and as a token of love, I sent some contribution from my first salary to Gurudev and wrote a letter to him. 

To my surprise, Guru Mahārāj replied to my letter addressing me as "Kalyaniasu" and appreciated my knowledge of English. When I got initiated, never in my wildest dreams I had thought that after some years I would be shifting to the land of Mahāprabhu in West Bengal, Calcutta. Whenever I felt sad and remembered my parents I used to catch the metro and reach the maṭha for having darśan of Gurudev. Those days Gurudev used to give a lot of time to all of us and I felt at ease when I asked him many things for my spiritual upliftment. 

When motherhood came, I complained once that I do not get sufficient time to complete my chanting. Gurudev smilingly replied telling me not to worry and recite mahāmantra all the time while I am engaged in other household chores including taking care of my daughter. Later as years passed by I used to take my daughter and my son to the maṭha and Gurudev would always ask both of them to recite pañcatattva and mahāmantra before he handed over the prasād in their little hands. Calcutta math became my second home and I got many opportunities of exchanging smiling glances with my most revered and most merciful spiritual master. I pray and ask for his mercy on this auspicious day.

—Kunti Dasi (Kavita Mishra)




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