He Will Go, But He Will Not Go

One day Guru Mahārāja suddenly got very restless and started saying, "I have to go to Goalpara, I have to go to Goalpara!" So Prasād Prabhu asked me to please explain to Gurudeva that I think it's not right for him to travel at this point in time. "Why don't you wait?" I asked.

Very sweetly Guru Mahārāja agreed, but when I went out, he started saying the same thing again; "I have to go to Goalpara, I have to go to Goalpara!"

That night, I had a dream of Guru Mahārāja in which I saw my childhood school where I studied until standard six. I saw the assembly area of that school and Guru Mahārāja was lying there so very still. I went there and put his head on my lap and asked, "What is happening? Why are you lying here?"

He told me, “I am going. I will go, but I will not go.” It didn't make any sense at that time to me.

The next day, I came to know that he forced everybody to go to Goalpara. Prahlāda Prabhu informed me after some days that Guru Mahārāja had become unwell there and had to be admitted to the hospital. He wasn't talking and communicating then.

I remembered that dream and then it made sense that probably this is what he meant when he said, ”I am going but I am not going." It meant that I won’t communicate externally any further. From then on, it has been like this.

—Dr. Amitava Mukerjee


Srila Gurudeva's lotus hands in divine gestures as if chanting on his mala. This was observed within a few months of the hospital release mentioned in the above post.


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