Situated Within His Transcendental Vision, We Feel Only Bliss

To be frank, in 1986 when I went for Māyāpur parikramā, I was not ready for anything; I was not eligible to understand anything. For me, those things were out of this world. I had a language barrier as I did not understand Bangla. Except for Gurudev, all others were speaking Bangla. Besides Gurudev, I had no one to speak to so I would follow Gurudev and listen to his explanations. He would walk us through the middle of a waterlogged paddy field on a two feet dry track. While Gurudev was moving ahead, I was holding an umbrella for Gurudev and also sometimes holding Guru Mahārāj himself because of the difficulty to hold one’s balance on that small track with water on both sides.  Sometimes I would have to enter the water to give Gurudev the required space to walk and hold the big umbrella over him at the same time. The experience was altogether out of this world.

At that time, Guru Mahārāj would sit and tell us the name of the place (Jagai-Madai ghat, Mahāprabhur ghat, Barakona ghat, etc.) and explain the pastimes that took place with Mahāprabhu there. I used to think what is this, I do not see any ghat (a bathing place near the riverside) here, it is a paddy field.  I was not able to comprehend, but then I would see that the eyes of Gurudeva were having darśan and he was explaining his divine realization with that sight. So this thought came to my mind that if a pure devotee of Gurudev's stature is telling us that this is Mahāprabhu's ghat, then this must be Mahāprabhu's ghat because this person has no business telling a lie. So because of the intensity of Gurudev's faith, we used to have the belief that what is being told is actually there. 

adyāpi kare līlāya gaura-rāya, kona kona bhāgyavān dekhibāre pāya

[Even today, Lord Gaura Raya is enacting his pastimes, but only fortunate souls can see them.]

So, this is how Guru Mahārāj used to explain.

And when we were walking barefoot on pebbles and on thorns in the fields, our feet hurt and it was so hot on our heads and feet.  But there is no time to even think about this because all the time Guru Mahārāj was doing kirtan, dancing and jumping, singing  "Nitai Gaurāṅga Nitai Gaurāṅga..."And to my surprise, I also started jumping, and when the feet are lifted from the hot ground, relief can be felt for a fraction of a second.  And then again when the feet touch on the same hot ground, in a reflex action you just jump, and then you get relief. Then you fall down then jump and get relief.  And when you dance sometimes blood is coming out of your feet and you don't understand what is going on.  There is no time to think about your feet.  And no one could ever imagine wearing shoes because Guru Mahārāj is not wearing any shoes in Māyāpur, so how can we wear them?  

These small bodily pains and troubles were nothing in comparison to when Guru Mahārāj would say, "This is Māyāpur dhām. This is the eternal abode of Sri Caitanya Mahāprabhu. This was very, very sweet.  There is no excessive heat, no trouble in this dhām. But we may feel it is hot here because our heart is full of lust.  When we have lust inside then we feel dhām is giving us hot temperatures, all those things. But when the heart is full of love for Sri Caitanya Mahāprabhu, love for Nitai Gaurāṅga, then we feel the transcendental pleasant dhām, that real eternal abode."  

When we would hear that, we felt astonished and thought this is too much. So, Guru Mahārāj would say there is no material sun shining here in Māyāpur. Mahāprabhu Himself has become Sun and He is shining here. But devotees can realize that those sun rays are like moon rays for them but for non-devotees, to the persons who have lust, they feel scorching heat.  So this way we used to understand that Guru Mahārāj is in a different world altogether.  

During Navadvip parikramā in Gurudev's presence, there was so much bliss that we would not feel whether stones hurt or thorns pricked our feet, or even when the feet bleed—all these things become very insignificant.  Just being around Guru Mahārāj, all unhappiness would go away when we are situated within his vision, we feel bliss and only bliss.  Carrying Guru Mahārāj's water bottle, umbrella, his bag, and wherever he sat down to speak the glories of the place handing him the scriptures from the bag, carrying his āsan and spreading it for him, such small sevās were giving me so much happiness. I was completely unaware of bodily consciousness. 

—Sri Rasabihari Das

spoken in Hindi and English alternatively

Guru-kathā via Zoom on 29.5.2020, Gokul India