He Never Addressed Anyone as His Disciple
Gurudev was a living example of guru-gata-pran: he stuck to his Gurudev's instructions and simply endeavored to carry them out regardless of the results or whether anyone supported them or not. The scriptural dictum ājñā gurūṇāṁ hy avicāraṇīyā [the order of the spiritual master must be obeyed without consideration] finds its actual meaning in the life of our Guru Mahārāja. That made our Param Gurudev Śrīmad Bhakti Dayita Mādhava Gosvāmī Mahārāja utter that "Among my innumerable disciples the one who is dearest to my heart is Śrīla Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Gosvāmī Mahārāj."
Lord and Guru are impartial and shower their mercy and grace equally on all, but a true uttama disciple subdues guru by his sincere service and conduct. Upon seeing his complete dedication and full engrossment in service, he felt concerned that Gurudev would neglect his personal requirements. Although there was a scarcity of sevāks in the maṭha, Param Gurudev engaged a separate sevāk to look after him.
Seeing his qualifications and capabilities, Param Gurudev appointed him Secretary of Sree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha and carried out all necessary services expected of him to the best of his ability and to the full satisfaction of Param Gurudev.
His deep relationship that grew with Param Gurudev through service all these years manifested as viraha, separation grief when Param Gurudev disappeared from the world. His whole life was dependent on Param Gurudev and he was so devastated. In this state of devastation, he received the news that it was Param Gurudev's desire that he be made the successor-ācārya of the maṭha, but nothing in his heart wanted that for himself.
Śrīla Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja and Śrīla Sant Gosvāmī Mahārāja insisted that he must accept his Gurudev's order. Fearing he will fail in guru-sevā, he accepted the service. He considered that there is nothing above honoring Guru—that this was his topmost duty. So in spite of not desiring it, he accepted the post of ācārya, thus serving his Gurudev as his sevāk. This was like when Bharat accepted the order of his brother Lord Rāmacandra to rule Ayodhya in his absence, and he did so as his sevāk; only to please Him.
To honor, serve, and protect the pristine glory of the organization established by his Gurupādapadma, he remained undeterred even when facing unfavorable and difficult times. In 2010 when a situation arose and we were told that Gurudev took a decision to step down from the post of Ācārya, his disciples became so disturbed that they implored him and cried. Gurudev saw that through them my Gurudev is expressing his will and his order. He submitted to it and carried on his services even while feeling extreme separation grief from his Gurudev.
Gurudev's sevāk hoi manya apanar: all of Gurudev's sevāks are worshipable to me, with such feeling Gurudev spent his whole life. This is his specialty. Even though they are Gurudev's god-brothers, when they expressed vāmya-svabhāva (opposition), he manifested his ideal conduct by always honoring and respecting them.
He followed the orders of his Gurudev so perfectly, without the least deviation of even an inch from what was expected. He would always say it is the standing order of my Gurudev and by his ideal conduct, he demonstrated that this standing order has to be followed at any cost. There are umpteen instances that prove his guru-gata prana and one of them is when he followed the order of Śrīla Param Gurudev to serve the deities while staying in Suvarṇa Vihar which was located in the midst of a thick forest. He patiently bore the severe circumstances without any protest, even to the extent of suffering ill health. His simple nature and utmost guru-niṣṭhā attracted Śrīla Param Gurudev who thus showered great affection on him.
Lord and Guru are impartial and shower their mercy and grace equally on all, but a true uttama disciple subdues guru by his sincere service and conduct. Upon seeing his complete dedication and full engrossment in service, he felt concerned that Gurudev would neglect his personal requirements. Although there was a scarcity of sevāks in the maṭha, Param Gurudev engaged a separate sevāk to look after him.
Seeing his qualifications and capabilities, Param Gurudev appointed him Secretary of Sree Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha and carried out all necessary services expected of him to the best of his ability and to the full satisfaction of Param Gurudev.
His deep relationship that grew with Param Gurudev through service all these years manifested as viraha, separation grief when Param Gurudev disappeared from the world. His whole life was dependent on Param Gurudev and he was so devastated. In this state of devastation, he received the news that it was Param Gurudev's desire that he be made the successor-ācārya of the maṭha, but nothing in his heart wanted that for himself.
Śrīla Puri Gosvāmī Mahārāja and Śrīla Sant Gosvāmī Mahārāja insisted that he must accept his Gurudev's order. Fearing he will fail in guru-sevā, he accepted the service. He considered that there is nothing above honoring Guru—that this was his topmost duty. So in spite of not desiring it, he accepted the post of ācārya, thus serving his Gurudev as his sevāk. This was like when Bharat accepted the order of his brother Lord Rāmacandra to rule Ayodhya in his absence, and he did so as his sevāk; only to please Him.
To honor, serve, and protect the pristine glory of the organization established by his Gurupādapadma, he remained undeterred even when facing unfavorable and difficult times. In 2010 when a situation arose and we were told that Gurudev took a decision to step down from the post of Ācārya, his disciples became so disturbed that they implored him and cried. Gurudev saw that through them my Gurudev is expressing his will and his order. He submitted to it and carried on his services even while feeling extreme separation grief from his Gurudev.
Gurudev's sevāk hoi manya apanar: all of Gurudev's sevāks are worshipable to me, with such feeling Gurudev spent his whole life. This is his specialty. Even though they are Gurudev's god-brothers, when they expressed vāmya-svabhāva (opposition), he manifested his ideal conduct by always honoring and respecting them.
The quality of Param Gurudev which is glorified in his stāvakam: guru-sodara gaurava dana ratam is also manifest in Gurudev's conduct. He felt that being that they are my Gurudev's sevāks, all my god-brothers are worshipable and considered himself as their small servant. Even after becoming Ācārya, he never ordered anyone to come to him, instead, he would personally go to them. He never considered his disciples his sevāks, he would say they came for Lord's and Gurudev's sevā, so how can I call them, order them? With such simple nature, he conducted his whole life.
In 2002 when I had the fortune of serving Gurudev by staying with him as his sevāk in Guwahati for some months, I observed on several occasions that though Gurudev was provided a calling bell to call for sevāks, he never used it. When he had some work to be done he would walk up all the way from his room at one end of the corridor and come to the other end of the corridor to sevāk's room and would call the sevāk's name in a sweet tone. If this is his conduct with his disciples, we cannot imagine how his conduct was with his god-brothers.
Like Param Gurudev who had surrendered fully his body and mind in Śrīla Prabhupād's lotus feet, Gurudev surrendered himself fully at the lotus feet of Śrīla Param Gurudev in that same spirit. This is seen in every field of his activity, whether managing the maṭha, performing ācārya-lila, or bestowing harināma-dīkṣā, because Param Gurudev occupied his mind fully and he performed all his activities only to please Gurudev. He never addressed anyone as his disciple, he would refer to them as "our maṭha's disciples." Unless such an ideal personality's qualities are fully established in one's mind, one cannot perform any activity like him. Param Gurudev is seated so deeply within Gurudev's heart and soul that he has made Param Gurudev's personality manifest before our eyes by making him a part of his life by becoming an ideal demonstration of his ideal conduct.
In 2002 when I had the fortune of serving Gurudev by staying with him as his sevāk in Guwahati for some months, I observed on several occasions that though Gurudev was provided a calling bell to call for sevāks, he never used it. When he had some work to be done he would walk up all the way from his room at one end of the corridor and come to the other end of the corridor to sevāk's room and would call the sevāk's name in a sweet tone. If this is his conduct with his disciples, we cannot imagine how his conduct was with his god-brothers.
Like Param Gurudev who had surrendered fully his body and mind in Śrīla Prabhupād's lotus feet, Gurudev surrendered himself fully at the lotus feet of Śrīla Param Gurudev in that same spirit. This is seen in every field of his activity, whether managing the maṭha, performing ācārya-lila, or bestowing harināma-dīkṣā, because Param Gurudev occupied his mind fully and he performed all his activities only to please Gurudev. He never addressed anyone as his disciple, he would refer to them as "our maṭha's disciples." Unless such an ideal personality's qualities are fully established in one's mind, one cannot perform any activity like him. Param Gurudev is seated so deeply within Gurudev's heart and soul that he has made Param Gurudev's personality manifest before our eyes by making him a part of his life by becoming an ideal demonstration of his ideal conduct.
—Sri Bhakti Kinkar Damodar Mahārāj
Translated from Hindi to English. Excerpted from a talk on April 17, 2020, Srila Gurudev's 3rd disappearance anniversary. Source is here.
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